Who is John Galt?

Falling Slowly

2008-02-27T19:08:00.001-08:00

Current Favourite!

My first time...

2007-11-14T21:20:00.001-08:00

We all remember our first time....its always the most special...this was my first time ever...

Wasn't sure if I should be doing it at all....I mean what if I wasn't physically ready for it...but more than that...I had to be mentally prepared...

Well sometimes these things happen on an impulse...you just get carried away by the whole idea of the experience....

I knew the first time was going tobe difficult and maybe painfull...I was anxious...yet everyone who had done it said it would totally be worth it....it would last a moment...the moment when you feel the high...and that moment of the first tim would remain with me for life...

They say boys boast about their first time...talk about it with the other boys....how did it start....how long did it take....were you nervous when you started out, etc...etc...!

For more than a month now I was reading enough....taken the right kind of protection.....and for the whole week (just to be safe!) before had even eaten the right foods to give me more energy to last longer...as they say....you can never be too prepared!! ;-)

I had got the right clothers, right shoes....everything...everything had to be perfect for the big day....

And then the moment finally started....it took me a bit of time to warm up....I had to set the right pace...not too slow yet not too fast just right to get me through....I mean its not like I was a pro...but soon I was over all the anxiety and the pressure and the stress...I had to...I had to focus....I had to be my best...I couldn't let go mid-way....I couldn't screw-up what was going to be an "out of the world...breathtaking experience"....literally and figuratively....

I came...I walked...and walked...and walked...and walked...and walked some more before finally conquering!!

They say that often the pleasure is in the pain....they also say you see hell when you die....I ain't dead but I did experience hell....and well yeah...I did come out of it alive...and might I say kicking...or..err...limping?

37 hours and 58 minutes, 4 bars of Snickers, more than 200gms of raisins, more than 25 litres of liquids later....I had finally done it....

I had finally completed, for the first time....the arduous 100 km Oxfam Trailwalker....walking through some of the most difficult mountains of Hong Kong......for almost 38 hours non-stop...
The pain, the sweat, the sleeplessness, the fatigue, the blisters, the soreness....and yet the one step on the other side of the finishing line....and I knew I would remember this for life...

Sweet Pain...aah...now I know what its all about!

Big Weekend coming up...

2007-10-31T03:01:00.000-07:00

Not the coming weekend....the next one...it's huge....Need ALL the good wishes I can....yes...I know it's Diwali...and I sure hope it helps!

Apologies for this cryptic message...but just need for the next weekend to go well.

Leh, Ladakh

2007-09-07T07:27:00.001-07:00

We had an absolutely incredible trip. I won't say a word. I will let the pictures tell you the incredible journey.The itinerary was:

Delhi - Manali by Bus : August 18-19

Manali - Leh by Car : August 20-21

Acclimatise in Leh : August 22

Trek : Leh-Spituk-Stok : August 23-25

Return : Leh - Delhi by flight : August 26

Looking forward...

2007-08-11T09:49:00.001-07:00

Can't wait for the next 6 days to get over!

Am then going on a trip that has been on my mind for the last almost 10 years or more. I always wanted to go to Leh, Ladakh in Kashmir and finally this dream is coming true. Unfortunately, The Wife is unable to get leave so she' won't join in. In rather filmy style, she said that "mein Leh tumhari aankhon se dekhoongi...!!" My subsequent fits of laughter didn't help at all!

Anyways, here's the itenerary. Fly to Delhi. Next day take a 16-hour bus journey to Manali. Stay over for a day and then go on what I reckon will be the most unbelievable part of the trip....a drive from Manali to Leh where we reach a height of more than 17000 ft. So Altitude sickness is something that I am told to worry about, but hopefully it won't be a problem, lets just see how it goes.

I then go on a 4-day trek from Leh. So this is the staying in tents, pottying in the woods type of trek (that's not going to help...given 1 of my quirks!!), but will have to adjust-madi.

Will put the snaps online once am back as well!

Quirks...

2007-07-21T02:28:00.001-07:00

To write my tag within an 8-hour deadline or To crown Anuja Queen of the Universe.

I have to do potty naked. Don't know how this started. But I am at my most comfortable on the pot naked. This ofcourse is a profound problem while I am on treks or out in the open wilderness!
While eating normal home food, I cannot eat roti with dal. Dal is meant only for Rice.
I clean my tongue every morning till it is red. I have a fear of bad-breath. So I make sure that my brushing and tongue-cleaning are an adventure every morning (and sometimes evenings) by almost gagging myself each time.
While writing a document, I have to have one space after a comma and two spaces after a full stop. I know this is a normal way to write, but I am obsessed about it.
Kind of related, wrong spellings absolutely annoy me. The worse is 'seperation' and 'separation'
Pages in books cannot be folded. Paperbacks cannot be bent (you know how people roll certain magazines/small books and carry them?) or folded.
All names in my address book, ipod, handphone have to be in Title Case.
While driving, cars cannot be in wrong gears at different speeds. I have a problem with revved-up cars.

Tag Rules

1) Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.

2) People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.

3) At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

4) If you fail to do this within eight hours, you will have to acknowledge Anand as the King of the Universe

I tag
Minita
Amrith
Freespirit
Allie (you could do it with your inimitable pictures)
Ron
Abhishek
Nostalgic Moments

Technically, I saw the comment only this morning. But anyways, Anuja is the Queen of the Universe.

Irony

2007-07-15T01:22:00.000-07:00

The irony lies in the solidarity after the betrayal.

He's back...

2007-07-13T02:32:00.000-07:00

Continuing...

2007-07-13T00:25:00.000-07:00

The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

2007-07-09T20:59:00.000-07:00

My current favourite:

And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

I see you - the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now?
It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over -When so much is left undone..

Adventures of Disneyland

2007-01-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

First up, a very HAPPY NEW YEAR to all! Hope you guys have a fabulous year ahead!

Apologies for not having a posted for so long, but was in one of those break modes. Hopefully, I will be regular in the new year!

We went to Disneyland last week and to be honest, was quite a disappointment! It has a 1-2 great shows and 1-2 good rides, but not worth the money that you pay.

In India, (no offence meant to anyone) by seeing Mickey and Minnie in Hindi was bad. Just didn't associate with them when they spoke in Hindi. And it was the same when they spoke in Cantonese! But overall, it was a good performance taking us through all the various Disney characters from Pluto to Goofy, from Beauty to the Beast, from Tarzan to Donald Duck!

The highlight was the 'Festival of the Lion King', which was outstanding! 'Cast Members' as they call themselves, played the entire movie in about 30 minutes. It was visually splendid!

A couple of kiddie-rides were also there, but nothing that was heart-stopping, adrenaline-pumping.

There was also a very nice Disney parade which had ALL the characters strolling down the Main Street, USA!!!

1% Relaxed.....

2006-09-08T02:36:00.000-07:00

Only 99% more to go!

2006-09-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

I am frustrated and angry. At all of these. In no particular order of importance.

vande mataram controversy
I-raq war
Issues of reservation
politicians using hindu-muslim sentiments to win elections
government not doing substantial with the 34% tax that I (used to) pay
politicians screwing the country one way or the other,
racial profiling and discrimination by various countries, (and my feeling is that it will only get worse going forward)
work and the lack of progress thereof
my mind which refuses to be at peace
myself

Excellent search!!

2006-09-04T03:03:00.000-07:00

Try this out! Combines search capability using Google and Yahoo. Excellent.

Full Bollywood Masala...!!!

2006-08-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

Here it is folks....our story...seems like a propah Bollywood masala...aimlessly wandering without a purpose...and without an end...but who needs a purpose and end anyway??

Couple of thoughts when I was collating this:
1. Quite a few of you are hopeless romantics. Which is wonderful.
2. Quite a few of you are hopeless cynics. Which is wonderful too.

So, a toast to all of us!..Cheers!

I was alone and lonely. But that didn't matter much. Cuz I was used to staying alone since I was a kid. But that day was exceptional. Was feeling really down & was yearning for some companionship. And then I decided to blog. Was going through many blogs, and then I came across one which said 'Who is John Galt?.’ John Galt has been one of my heroes. I read all the posts, it helped me, but not completely. I ran my fingers through the pile of books I had, took my favorite "Atlas Shrugged" and then went for an aimless walk. I found a hilltop, sat there with my favorite book and started reading. I made myself available for all, any one could have had my time, my support but then at the end of the day I was again alone and lonely. Perhaps my loneliness was only my state of mind, I did have everybody around me but still….

I went to sleep all alone and miserable. I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. There was a woman sitting on the edge of my bed. She sat by my head, tenderly ruffling my hair with her fingers, playing the melody of her touch. I looked at her face and struggled with my tears, till the agony of unspoken words burst my loneliness like a bubble. I looked at her face yet could not discern the features. Her hair falling over me close to my face, I could smell the familiar fragrance. But it was her eyes that drew me in. I saw tears well in her eyes. Those tear streaked face and eyes mesmerized me. I stood spellbound, never had I seen anyone look more forlorn and yet so divine. I gulped and moved forward. I just wanted to reach out and see if she was real. She looked real yet very fictitious, pearly tears, Naww…they couldn't be real, they were just too perfect, as if she knew exactly how to cry. Her eyes welled perpetually; my heart sank. I moved forward and wiped her tears and said " Don t worry...everything will be alright." Then I tenderly and gently took her in my arms. She sighed and held me so very tightly! Wow, it just felt sooooo good & warm. Suddenly I felt she was all over me & then she started licking me! I opened my eyes only to find that I was in my dreamland & it was my dog who was actually licking me! I groaned and laughed at the same time, ruffled the hair on the dogs’ head. I should have known this was too good to be true. It was 3 AM so off again to never, never land. Who card for a little bout of loneliness while Bruno(my dog) is around? He is always around and more faithful than a wife. But then, I've never had a wife, or even a girlfriend.

I woke up late. It was raining outside. And gosh, I had left a window open last night. Across I went to the window only to see a familiar face standing at some distance. That familiar face was the same like the lady sitting on the edge of the bed. If i run down and caught her would she be mine? Or would she have left till I reached there leaving me more lonelier than ever before? Thoughts were racing in my mind. My mind was racing. My thoughts were overwhelmed with the idea of getting to know her better. I was running to catch her... and my heart was racing ... racing so very quickly! I hurried to the bus stand, where she was standing. As I reached, she boarded a bus, and I followed her on it, hoping to talk to her. She sat in the front seat, and I sat close behind her. The bus started moving, and after 20 mins of anxious waiting and heart throbbing, she finally turned and looked behind... "Darling," she exclaimed, holding out her arms. My breath caught and I turned a pale crimson. She was talking to the guy behind me. Typical! Truly, madly, deeply wishing that this would indeed turn out to be a dream, I turned around to take a quick glance at the guy behind me. I was pleasantly flabbergasted. I was staring into a pair of blind eyes - a 10 year old kid. If only I could have her soft arms around my neck again, I thought, I wouldn't even mind being a blind ten year old...if only...but the IF was always there... And then in a moment, our eyes met! She looked at me and I looked at her. She said, " That is my nephew, and I am taking him to lunch, would you care to join us? I do not usually invite strangers to lunch, but you look so familiar to me!" I replied "I too dont accept invitations from strangers usually, but you will be an exception." We both smiled a tender smile at each other! I could feel such a connection to her. Was she feeling it too? We took her nephew by the hand, and stepped off the bus and walked to a seaside restaurant. There was need to talk but our silence spoke more than words. Her nephew could sense this bonding and had a sweet smile. Smiles all around... blissful moments! There was so much I wanted to say to her. I was feeling such peace being there with her and her nephew! Later in a more private place, I wanted tell her what my heart was yearning to. We were having a wonderful lunch together, and she was so sweet and attentive to her nephew. But, she kept looking at her watch, and I wondering if she was getting bored with my company. Then, she said, "It is time I take my nephew home, please come with us. I did not want to go because I had to meet friends at the club. My few guy pals and I were waiting in line to go to this exclusive club. I saw HER with another male kissing in public. The green-eyed monster reared his ugly head. I picked up my Swiss army knife and charged towards them. 'Cuz I had to finish making the chocolate cake. But soon I realised that it wasnt any lovers' kiss but a peck to her darling dad. By then I was almost near her with the knife and quickly changed direction towards the tree. I felt I was a hero of kolly hood kind - jumped into the bully to get a bulls eye in my face like Aamir khan in dil chahta hai. " who is he darling" mouth stuck stood my dream gal. Too late! Dad and she had seen me already. "Isn't he the same guy whose face you draw in all your pics?" Her dad was looking at her puzzled and hearing that, I forgot about my knife, and the tree and everything else! The crash was loud and clumsy. Adding to the embarrassment was the realisation that I had not even opened the knife. And that goofy laugh of the dad didnt help at all. I felt I had lost everything I had in that moment. I had made a fool of myself and just wanted to run away from there. During these feelings going within my mind, she held my hands from behind n sweetly said "I luv u"...ahhhh in that 1 moment, life seemed so beautiful. I wished time to stop then and there. But her dad smiled at me and said, 'Son, I have to leave now. Would you make sure this crazy daughter of mine gets home safe? She's gone and crashed her car. Again. You seem like a nice chap.' I nodded to him and promised to take home his daughter. Later he opened the door and gives a warm welcome to sit in the front with a smile but his eyes never took off seeing her beauty. When she saw his eyes, she felt butterflies inside her thoughts making her happy. He wanted her to stay a little longer, he was mesmerized with her beauty. "What should I do?" he thought. Dad says I had to drop her back soon. She wanted to stay longer too. And then I realized that he hadn't eaten since morning. Even she hadn't eaten since morning and this is the reason why there are butterflies. So we went out to eat. Since I did not have my driving license yet she insists on driving and the same thing happens again. Crash...Boom...Bang.... ahh..then he realized he was much better when he was alone and lonely...

Lets play...

2006-08-24T23:46:00.000-07:00

Update: Don't mean to be rude...but 1 comment per person please. I want this to be a collective story.

Ok, this is what I want to do.

I want to develop a story. But I don't know what I want to write. I just know I want a story.

So this is how the game will be played.

1. I will start with a sentence. Just some thought that is playing in my head right now.
2. Each comment posted, should take the story a little forward.
3. (Request) Each comment to have about 3 sentences max.
4. We will do this till Monday evening and then I will consolidate and put it together for everyone to read.

Let's see what we come up with.

p.s. I really hope that it is a story. Not just random, unrelated sentences. So, please, if you do comment, then I request you to make it cohesive. Please.

So here's the start:

I was alone and lonely. But that didn't matter much.

If you could..?

2006-08-20T21:08:00.000-07:00

Close your eyes.
Discard all your momentary thoughts.
Breathe for 30 seconds.
Calm yourself completely.
Imagine your life 10 years hence.

What do you see?

Singapore Sling

2006-08-11T00:47:00.000-07:00

The Merlion, is the trademark symbol of Singapore. It is a statue with the head of a lion and the body of a fish. According to the Singapore Tourism Board's publicity campaign, the Merlion recalls the story of the legendary Sang Nila Utama, who saw a lion while hunting on the island, en route to Malacca. The island eventually became the sea port of Temasek, a precursor to Singapore. (Source: Wikipedia)

I am not a fan of animals being put in cages. Made to eat food that is not earned. I last remember having gone to a zoo in 1993, in Ahmedabad. It isn't the best in the world. And it was quite revolting to see animals being caged. I can't imagine what would happen to me if I were put in a 10*10 cell for the rest of my life. Would almost certainly go insane.

The respite is the fact that the Singapore Zoo has been built such that the animals have a wider enclosure. You could see quite a few animals taking walks around their "home". They have also created a "natural" environment for them (or atleast appears natural to mere mortals like me!).

The night safari, comparatively, was a disappointment. The lions, supposed to be nocturnal, were in such deep slumber that a bomb may not have made a difference!

However, the good part of the night safari was the Fire Show done by what appeared to be dudes and dudesses, dressed like tribals....and playing with fire!

Chinatown, apart from its standard Red and Golden hue, had an amazing array of brightly coloured doors and windows that looked wonderful.

The underwater fish aquarium was nice. But still, the fishes should be in their natural habitat out in the sea, not here!

We also visited the standard touristy attractions of Clarke Quay and Boat Quay, Little India and Arab Street. For some godforsaken reason, I can't seem to upload any more snaps! So if the Blogger Gods do allow me, will post some more snaps.

Thank you Blogger Gods!

No More Thoughts!!!

2006-08-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

I don't want to have thoughts in my head! That's it! No more thoughts! Want to suffer from permanent memory-loss! No past, whether good or bad, to carry forward. Everyday would be a new day. Everyday a new adventure. So cool!

What They Need...

2006-07-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

In response to this post of The Wife.

CLASSES FOR WOMEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY MONDAY July 31st , 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY OF RESTRAINING CONVERSATION, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 2 MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How to Talk Only During Commercials
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation and Role Play.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
Is Shopping = Sport?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.

OR

Class 2
Is It Genetically Impossible To Not Shop?
Shopping Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

(Please note that all students have to enrol for atleast one of the above two classes. Students enrolling for both sessions will receive special credit and a gold-plated certificate of appreciation)

Class 3
Is It Possible To Get Dressed, Put on Make-Up and Shoes Without Needing to Change Zillion times?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PMfor 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between "No" and "Yes"
Illustrative Examples.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PMfor 3 weeks.

Class 5
Learning How To Openly Ask for Things --- How not to use subtle hints for everything
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 6
Learning to Accept --- Basic Differences Between You and TV.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 7
Learning to Differentiate --- Basic Differences Between Running Errands and Chores and Spending Quality Time with Hubby
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 8
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- How to use iPods and other gadgets
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
How to be the Ideal Beer and Sports Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 10
Logical Reasoning Vs. Emotional Blackmail in Fights - The Deal Clincher
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Diplomas will be issued to the Amazonian survivors on the successful completion of any of the above courses.

Please note...this is a purely fictitious piece...any resemblance or inspiration from any individual living or dead is purely intentional and non-coincidental!

Who am I...?

2006-07-23T19:44:00.000-07:00

Though I am thrilled that I have Superman characteristics....having 55% Supergirl and Catwoman traits is very eye-raising!!!

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman		70%
Green Lantern		70%
Robin		65%
Supergirl		55%
Catwoman		55%
The Flash		50%
Batman		45%
Iron Man		45%
Spider-Man		40%
Wonder Woman		35%
Hulk		30%

You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Germany Adventures - Part Six - Munich and Heidelberg

2006-07-19T01:00:00.000-07:00

We scheduled Munich between June 26-June 28. Reached Munich on 26 morning...our hostel was just about a km away..so we walked it there, checked in and then headed out.

The local city tour was very nice. We were told that in certain parts of the city, the buildings cannot be taller than the cross on the church! I was wearing a t-shirt that said "I Was An Atheist Till I Realised I Was GOD!" and got some pretty bad stares! :-))

The Allianz stadium in Munich was a real treat! We went late at night, almost 12 midnight, to see it! The security guards obviously scrutinized us from top to bottom, realised we were upto no good, and told us to scoot!

The next day, we travelled to the Germany-Austria border. There was this fairy tale castle called Neuschweinstein (nush-wine-stine) Castle there made by a king called Ludwig II. Absolutely marvellous place, half way on the mountains, with a river and countryside view. You have to take a 2 hour train to a place called Lenderwang. From there you take a bus to Fussen and then another bus takes you to Neuschweinstein. Its just a small place, with loads of eateries and couple of souvenir shops. We have to hike up about 30 minutes to reach the castle. Weather was again quite volatile, when it poured heavily with thunderstorms and after about 30 minutes it was scorching again!! Really surprising weather!!

We reached Mannheim on June 28. We unpacked and quickly left for Heidelberg to see another castle (not as great as Neuschweinstein though!!) This one (as you can see!) wasn't as impressive as the earlier ones, but it had a USP.

It houses (supposedly) the World's Largest Barrel!

Heidelberg is a much better place to stay in rather than Mannheim. Mannheim can be easily avoided. I guess this was the only disappointing part of the entire tour.

And Heidelberg had some amazing food as well! Chicken was amazing, though the Cheese and Bread (that my friend ordered) was too much for him!

So there you have it folks, my Germany Adventures! I left on June 29 late evening flight to end my much-dreamed about "Backpacking-through-Europe" (I know it wasn't Europe...but it's the closest I could get!!). I hope you guys have enjoyed them as much as (well...you couldn't have enjoyed them as much as I did...but somewhere there!!) I have...and still suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms!!

Germany Adventures - Part Cinq - Berlin

2006-07-13T23:46:00.000-07:00

Time for the berlin escapades....June 23-June 25...The 3 hour train ride from Dortmund to Berlin was breathtaking. The countryside is green, with nice cottages laced across! There seems to be so much space here, that Hong kong and Bombay can only dream of having! Its picture perfect, tranquil, serene, green and just a little hint of inhabitants!

We reached Berlin in the morning at about 10ish. And it is a grand city full of history.

We stayed in East Berlin, the impoverished part of the city. When there were two countries East and West Germany, Berlin was the only city where the Wall ran through right through it! So after the Second World War, West Germany was being rebuilt by the US and England, East Gemany was the responsibility of Russia who didn't use the money efficiently for rebuilding and reconstruction of the country. So, finally in 1989 when the Wall was broken down, you had two different cities attempting to merge. People from both sides were not happy. West Berliners were taxed to develop East berlin, causing resentment among the people there. The East Berliners on their part considered the westerners as arrogant and therefore bred hostility.

We saw some breathtaking sites, from the new-age tv tower that is counted amongst one of the tallest towers of the world, to the gothic sculpture of poseidon.

From a massive musuem built in greek-architechture to a giant piece on Einstein's Theory.

The now-vandalised, historic Berlin Wall was another surreal experience. There is only a small portion of it that has been retained. And, this small portion has been vandalised to an extent that, unless you knew it, you would have mistaken it as just another wall.

There was 'Checkpoint Charlie', another Berlin-extraction. This junction marked the end of the US area of control. Berlin was the only city where all the allies wanted their presence and divided the city in four areas. Checkpoint Charlie marked the end of the American sector.

But the highlight of the city was an hour long ferry ride that took us through both the cities! You can actually see the difference between the cities. The west, an ultra modern place with malls, shopping arcades, jazzy glass offices and the east full of old gothic type buildings with a few buildings recently built to symbolise the merger. It was breathtaking!

Night life in Berlin is one of the best in the world. It will give Lan Kwai Fong a serious run for its money! I in fact think Berlin will beat it hollow!! We went out to an Indian restaurant to have some desi khana, a little break from all the pigs and ox that I had been eating!

Was also introduced to two excellent cocktails...caprianha and mojitos...(hope i've spelt them right!)...will rank amongst my all-time favourite of Long Island Iced Tea!

Germany Adventures - Part Quatre

2006-07-13T23:24:00.000-07:00

MATCH DAY!!!! June 22. Brazil Vs Japan

We were up, nice and early. Strolled around the streets, main market area, bought few things, guzzled few more beers and generally lazed around...

Match day brings alltogether a different atmosphere. You have japs and brazilians the max, for obvious reasons. But you also have tons of people who need brazil or japan to lose for their team to go throguh!! And there are friendly tussles that you see all over the place.

The match was to start at 9 local time. The stadium was about 20 minutes away. And we started walking at about 7. Their were a sea of people walking, guzzling beer, eating currywurst and rheinwurst, different types of sausages, singing, dancing...an almost carnival type atmosphere!!! The brazilians came with their entourage, women in their traditional, very revealing outfits, dancing to live music! Everybody was having tons of fun!! Absolutely electric atmosphere!

The actual feeling sunk in once we entered the stadium. Didn't realise how the one and half hours passed by. They just flew!! The atmosphere was fantastic! In our section, there were more japanese supporters, yelling "nippon, nippon, nippon, nippon, nippon hey,hey,hey,hey,hey!!!". I think japan is called nippon in japanese. The stadium was packed with 65000 people! It was just a sea of people. The fact that a total of 5 goals were scored made the noise unbelievable! I can't imagine how it would be for an india-pakistan cricket match! It would be even better!

Ronaldinho disappointed BIG-TIME in the entire World Cup...

I loved the logistics. I expected long lines for getting in, peeing, food, booze , everything! There was not a single line! ANYWHERE!! You just breezed through everything! I am told that there were people measuring the waiting times as well!! Presumably to make sure that people don't wait too long!

We walked back in a state of high. For me it was an amazing experience which I am unable to put in words. Surreal. That's all.

But that's what disappoints me about our country. I started thinking about an India-Pakistan cricket match in Bombay or Bangalore or any place for that matter...and the 2.5 hours that I have to wait to get in the stadium! I don't see a possibility of BCCI shutting of arterial roads of the city, diverting traffic to other parts, putting up giant, digital screens either on Marine Drive in Bombay or MG Road in Bangalore and letting the public watch it for free! Someday maybe....

Germany Adventures - Fans and More

2006-07-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

For all those who have been waiting for this...or some of this...I will let the pictures talk for themselves...

Germany Adventures - Part Trois

2006-07-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

We reached Dortmund, a relatively small, but very lively city, the following day. There isn't much to see in the city but it was full of buzz, mainly because of the matches that were to be held here!

We took a train to Cologne, about 90 minutes ride! In the olden days it was the third largest town after Paris and one more town (dont remember the name!!). Nothing much remains there except one huge cathedral. And it was very impressive. Mosaic flooring, stained glass windows, gigantic pillars et al.

It appears a very small city, and the main market was very nice and lively. Cologne is known for its street performers. We saw one guy spray painting some stuff and it was impressive to see the talent that people have!! We strolled along this market for a couple of hours.

We had read about a nice cafe that is a must to go to. There is a beer called "kolsch" and it can be sold only in Cologne, which we ordered. We also ordered something that looked like roasted ox...but I was later told it was Roast Pig...and it was tasty to the core! Really enjoyed it...though I wasn't impressed with the place despite the fact that it came highly recommended.

The other specialty of Cologne was supposed to be the chocolate museum, and it turned out to be less than expected. Actually, don't know what I was expecting, but how to make chocolate and selling the final product is what we got.

The other thing about Cologne is that because of some historical reason, the water of Cologne is very famous, as we know it as 'eau de cologne'!!!!didn't know of the german association!

Germany Adventures - Part Deux

2006-07-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

Monday, June 19...was an exciting and action filled day too...we left by 830 and took a train to this small, idyllic village called Rudesheim. Its an hour's journey from Frankfurt.

The whole town has nice old type houses, with cobbled pathways. It is alongside the Rhein.

We then took a "romantic tour" as it was called through a cable car to the top of a mountain where you could see the village and the vineyards. It is the red wine city, with beautiful small lanes, unadulterated with cars or anything.

We then hiked 5 kms from there to another village called Annhaushen. The hike was through the middle of a jungle and reminded me a lot of bangalore.

We then had to take a ferry to the Rheinstein castle, built in the medieval century, where we spent a couple of hours before taking the ferry back to Rudesheim. This last ferry ride was gorgeous, very serene and calm. You could see these small towns on either side of the river with vineyards covering the mountains, it was breathtaking.

Germany Adventures...!!

2006-07-10T01:19:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys....thanks a lot for all the wonderful comments....but work has been harrowing the living daylights out of me....the Germany vacation has left me with absolutely gut-wrenching work....so apologies for the lack of posts....currently have about 45 minutes before I am asked to scoot....so...i've decided to tell my 2000km back-packing trek across Germany...little at a time...

I reached Frankfurt on Saturday at about 8pm....and guess what?? The sun was out!!...This is a picture I took at 830 in the evening!! Thought that since the sun sets only by about 9 or 10 at night....the morning will continue to remain dark till late....but it wasn't so...it was nice and bright at 6 in the morning..

The actual excitement gripped me once I reached frankfurt...people from all over the world were there...portuguese, spanish, ghana, italy, US, England, and even croatia and australia! We went for a stroll near the hostel..the atmosphere is just electric..weird hairdos, different attires, everything...good rivalry when fans of two teams are drunk and sitting next to each other watching the match! Its was super fun!

Sunday, June 18....Today was a good, fun and exciting day... and I didn't get good sleep because am staying in this dorm with some other dudes...who kept snoring....so was up at 6..woke up and went for a run...it was wonderful....along the river Main, which divides frankfurt in two...I think I would have done it about 3.5 kms...was really beautiful...

Weather here is really volatile...was nice and cool in the morning during the run...but it went up to almost 35 degrees in the afternoon! was red as a tomato and sun burnt! And it drizzled immediately after!

So after the run we got dressed and decided to explore the place...and we walked all over the place...saw the outside of a couple of museums..because they were shut coz it was sunday!

There is this huge screen.....that they had erected in the MIDDLE of the river! And we didn't get to sit there the previous day so we reached early...at about 1 in the afternoon for a 3 pm match!

Between japan and croatia....it was a crappy match where nobody scored....and I now looked like a tomato because of the sun burns!
The atmosphere was as splendid as I had expected it to be...absolutely unbelievable...

The area where we stayed was a red light area! So there was plenty of non-football action going around as well!

p.s. for all those waiting for the snaps of the babes that The Wife has been telling you....will have to wait..atleast a couple of posts...but there is a visual treat to follow...and for the ladies out there...there are a couple of handsome hunks as well...so hang in there!!

My Tag...

2006-06-14T01:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted...so sorry about this delay....but work's just been piling up...and have to close out a lot of issues before my two-week sojourn...

so here goes my tag...

I am thinking about....what fun Germany will be!
I said...nothing...honest!!
I want...one slight peak in the future
I wish...I were at peace with myself
I miss... being fit
I hear... my boss hollaring at me
I wonder ...how my life will be 10-15 years from now!
I regret... nothing
I am ...who I am..confused...
I dance...when I am drunk
I sing ...soooo badly that even crows sound better
I cry...rarely
I am....who I am...confused!! (why this part again????)
I make with my hands...return all the hugs for The Wife! : -)
I write ...all sorts of crap
I confuse ...my work for my life
I need ...to get my priorities straight
I should ...get my priorities straight
I start ...thinking vague things in the middle of meetings!
I finish..those meetings thinking...shit...what have I got myself into this time!

So there it goes!!.. You guys know sooo much more about me now! Now my chance...I tag Minita, Rachel, Reshma (I know you're not too fond of tags...but thought will bug you a wee bit atleast!)

The joke that is reservation....

2006-05-30T01:56:00.000-07:00

I'm quite disgusted with the reservation issue that has come up. Let me first say that I am an escapist. I will not do the 'Rang de Basanti', 'Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi' and 'Swades' type of stuff where I will take it upon me to change the system. Well, I will do it if that was what I thought my job would be. It is my job to a large extent. But mostly, I, being the selfish I, am happy that I don't have to bother about this, atleast not for the time being.

So here is the best thing that I read about reservations. Its hilarious!!

I think we should have job reservations in all the fields. I completely support the PM and all the politicians for promoting this. Let's start the reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10 percent reservation for muslims. 30 percent for OBC, SC/ST like that. Cricket rules should be modified accordingly. The boundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST player. The four hit by an OBC player should be considered as a six and a six hit by a OBC player should be counted as 8 runs. An OBC player scoring 60 runs should be declared as a century.

We should influence ICC and make rules so that the pace bowlers like Shoaib Akhtar should not bowl fast balls to our OBC player. Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 kilometer per hour to an OBC player. Any delivery above this speed should be made illegal.

Also we should have reservation in Olympics. In the 100 meters race, an OBC player should be given a gold medal if he runs 80 meters.

There can be reservation in Government jobs also. Let's recruit SC/ST and OBC pilots for aircrafts which are carrying the ministers and politicians (that can really help the country.. )

Ensure that only SC/ST and OBC doctors do the operations for the ministers and other politicians. (Another way of saving the country..)

Let's be creative and think of ways and means to guide INDIAforward...
Let's show the world that INDIAis a GREAT country. Let's be proud of being an INDIAN..

May the good breed of politicans like ARJUN SINGH long live...

Work!!!

2006-05-22T02:09:00.000-07:00

The work that I do....

The work which The Wife thinks I do...

Me thinks that the moment we husbands finish important work and sit to relax, the wives take it as a sign to give more work. You guys experience the same??

But...thank God for illnesses. I caught a minor flu, which I took complete advantage of over the weekend. The flu arrived mainly because I am an overworked, underpaid, sleep-deprived ass. This has resulted in the immune system becoming extremely weak and the flu arriving. But those are trivial, irrelevant details.

The photographs are courtesy The Wife. She, in her happy and non-working moments (which happen to be about 540 minutes a day...another 540 minutes are spent on sleep!) sends me regularly. Muahs and 100,000 brownie points for this to you darling!

Open Letter to The Wife

2006-05-09T03:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Wife,

In this public forum, I would like to re-negotiate our terms of contract which I had signed up for (in a drunken state, may I add) . I think we had just made-out as well before I accepted those horrible terms and conditions. The public forum also ensures that the pots and pans dont hit me when you throw them.

Not to worry this re-negotiation does not apply to the vows which we took on Jan 30 last year, but only to the 'excel contract'. For the uninitiated, the 'excel contract' was an worksheet prepared by The Wife on roles and responsibilities from Monday-Friday for each one of us.

In economics, we have learnt about division of labour, specialisation and competitive advantage. Our house is the best place for us to demonstrate and practice it. You do a wonderful job making chappatis. I am really good at sitting on my ass watching tv. I believe it makes me look good as well. So I will specialise in this and you can have your specialisation in making chappatis. It is in the interests of competitive advantage in order that both of us are better-off that I suggest this. Not other hidden motive. I swear.
There is one thing which I have never told you. Let me take this opportunity to right the wrong. With a heavy heart....I have a deep-rooted inferiority complex every morning. This complex does not go till I get chocolate milk and cereal from a gorgeous woman. And on weekends it gets worse where it can disappear only by tea served with variety of kisses. I wish I had not hidden this from you. But here I am, your hubby being honest to you. So what I am trying to say is that can you please arrange for breakfast now onwards?
Being a Sagittarius, the world knows that I am very clumsy. I wish you understood this basic truth about me as well. I regularly hurt myself in the bathroom by tripping on the buckets (though I have never used the buckets!!). The bruises on my body are of these falls and not my kinky behaviour with some other woman as you have presumed. Coming to the point, your experiments with me laying the table for dinner are not working very well. It is creating stress within me. I am unable to live up to the pressure. I am scared that your expensive crockery will be broken to pieces if I don't do this properly. I will hate to see you upset over the broken crockery (which incidently I have already replaced twice with great pain!!) that your parents have gifted us. I would therefore suggest that it is better that you lay the table and clear it back. It will help both of us relieve a lot of stress.
Based on our morning discussions, you have acknowledged that I can't start the washing machine currently. Actually this part I can do. You can put the clothes in, and I will start the machine. We can split putting the washing powder equally. Mon-Wed-Fri will be my days, and Tue-Thurs-Sat will be your days. Sunday we will not wash any clothes.

I sincerely hope that these are agreeable to you and I have set it right that which was wrong.

Yours faithfully,

Hubby.

p.s. I know I have to sleep on the couch today, but can I please borrow a soft pillow and cover?

Dedicated to all the women out there...but I'm sorry..

2006-04-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

Call me cheap, call me chauvinistic, call me whatever, I don't care. But I have to say this.

Women, your existence and life is nice and wonderful. Men, generally, would not be half they are if it weren't for you. But please, you cannot NOT shave/wax. I mean it is just not attractive. If there is one thing in the world that reaaaaally turns on 99% of the guys, it will be hair on parts of the body than where is meant to be. And no, underarms (for women) are not supposed to have any hair, just like hands and legs and moustaches are supposed to be exclusively for men. You don't see us wanting PMS, do you? Then why do you want hair that belongs only to us? Julia Roberts and Salma Hayek did attempt to start a trend on this one, but they also have discontinued.

In Indonesia and Malaysia (where from I am posting) it is considered sexy to have 1-2 layers of hair on their hands. An Indo friend of mine, (fortunately for her) does not have good hormones to produce the hair (on hands, mind you!), constantly felt left out in her hey-days because of this. That is soooo cool! Is it actually attractive for men to view hair on others as sexy in some countries??

Is this everybody's unilateral dream or my stupid, chauvinistic view?

My Conversation with God

2006-03-30T02:01:00.000-08:00

Me : Why are some people assholes of the first order?
God : Hahaha...honey...i know whom you're referring to....but those people may think the same of you!!....plus you must put everything in context....people react differently based on the circumstances they believe themselves to be in.....they're protecting their interests and you're protecting yours....i have given each and every one of you the greatest ability of all....to think....unfortunately not everybody uses this ability to the fullest....so you have your differences...i'll bother only if you can't handle it....

Me : When i ask You to help some ass, why do You listen to me? And...When i ask You to help me, why do You ignore me?
God : Sometimes the answer is just 'No'. You have to live with that.

Me :Why do You leave me when i'm in pain?
God : I don't leave you....i'm the one who's carrying you through....

Me : Why are You such a hands-off manager?
God : No two people are the same.....i need to be hands on with some..hands off towards others....as far as you're concerned....i know that you can manage without me....so i let you be....call me when you really can't handle something....and i will always be there....

Me : How do i know whether a decision i'm making is the right one or not?
God : All decisions that you need to make....will have multiple options....I have developed an algorithm. This algorithm generates a number. My algorithm has the capability to generate the numbers based on the decision that you're taking...and circumstances will shape up accordingly.....if you learn to live with what is available to you rather than what you want to be available to you....the decision will become irrelevant.....

Me : How do You know that You're making the right decision?
God : Hey....it's Me...i created you and this world...and the algorithm which takes care of day-to-day operations...!!..You're questioning ME??
Me : Err......sorry...
God : no issue...chill...

Me : Why is everything so confusing?
God : It seems confusing since you believe that the choice that you make will change the course of your life.....it may not...further....even if you think that it will.....you need to understand that leaving your current life and exploring new ones will just make you better....and enrich yourself....

Me : Why am I here?
God : Because i chose for you to be there....it's my way or the highway....take it or leave it....and it's a package deal....you don't get to pick and choose...sorry...but that's the way i work....

Me : Why is everything in life so transient?
God : Life is the longest thing you'll ever know dude!!!...Do you know anything which is longer than life???
Me : Hmm...yeah...never actually thought about it that way!!

Me : How do i know that You love me?
God : I'm talking to you right now, ain't I?...Do you know anybody else whom i've spoken to?...That should speak volumes..

Me : Can You give me just one teeny-weeny miniscule little glimse of my future?
God : Even i don't know, my friend. I have left it to my random number generator and algorithm. This algorithm would generate your number and future course of action....unless in exceptional circumstances, i cannot change or modify its output...

Me : Why do I always get the feeling that there is something better just around the corner, but the corner never comes up?
God : Because...in life...there is no corner....it's just one meandering road....just enjoy the road...sometimes it'll bring you back to the same spot...but you've travelled in the meantime...hopefully learnt...and as you go ahead...you'll make some different choices....and see where that life takes you....

Me : I don't like to bribe You with gifts and money, some other people do, how do You feel about it? I mean, people pray to you. Tell you that I am offering this to you or that to you. And in lieu of this, they want you to give them something back!
God : Your way of showing affection is different from some of the others....i like the way we talk and the way we share a lot of stuff....some other friends of mine show their affection by giving me food which i absolutely loooouuve....you need to respect this difference....

Me: Any parting words of wisdom?
God: Enjoy yourself in whatever you do....i've put you there not to sulk....but to take life in every breath, in every cup of tea...and not to worry, i'm there to take care of you in case you do fall.....you're the best!!

The "Why's" of Marriage!

2006-03-24T04:57:00.000-08:00

Curiosity killed the cat. And this time I was the cat. The unfortunate part is that it wasn't even my Curiosity--been killed by The Wife's curiosity!!

The Wife has an uncanny knack of asking the most weird "why's." As if this wasn't enough she has an unbelievably strong belief that one of my duties as hubby is to answer ALL the answers --almost as if its a crime not too!

The questions come from anywhere (read: from any part of her brain and thats really dangerous) and hence it is impossible for me to even have an FAQ list to handle these situations.
What is important is not that I give the "right" answers...just that I give SOME answer to feed her curiosity...which in most cases means....using my creativity to the nth level!

Scene 1:- In a movie theatre watching a movie-20 minutes have passed...Suddenly:-
The Wife:- Arre..what happened?why is he crying?
Me:- ??? err...because he's bored of laughing...
(Please note we both have entered the movie theatre together, seen exactly the same duration of movie...but for some reason I am supposed to understand the movie as if I have directed and written it!)

Scene 2:- In a bus sitting next to window seat...
The Wife:- Why is this place called Cotton Tree Drive?
Me:- Coz earlier this place had lot of cotton trees and then these trees were cut down to make cotton clothes and then when they created a highway here....they dedicated to the memory of all the dead trees.
The Wife:-hmmmm...(has the "could be true"...contemplative look on her face)-Phew!

Scene 3:- In a bus yet again...
The Wife:-Why do chinese people like wearing pink so much?
Me:- *Stumped*..that one was surely beyond me....coz pink looks nice with the green trees around.....chinese people usually match clothes with the colour of trees and grass
The Wife:-*Satisfied*-Ur getting better look!...didnt expect me to come up with such an innovative one!

Scene 4:- On a weekend after dinner whilst in bed....
The Wife:- (Sleepy) Hey why are tomato and potato called tomato and potato?
Me:-Well...(for some reason my creative juices were at their best!)..There is a story behind it...There were two friends. Tom and Pot. Bestest friends ever! Like Ram and Shyam. Ajay and Vijay. Amar and Akbar. You know na? Bestest friends. They both grew up together. Went to the same school, same college, same MBA college, joined the same company, etc. EVERYTHING they did together. Then one day, there was another guy who joined their company. His name, very weirdly, was 'O'!! Imagine....what a name to have! The two friends Tom and Pot would tease poor little 'O', on his name, on his size (he was on a slightly healthier side!) After a number of months, 'O' couldn't bear it. He told the two friends to stop. But like all the asses that all of us know in our lives, they didn't. So things got out of hand. And then started a fight bigger than the epic Mahabharata! Punches being thrown, arrows with fire, etc, etc. After a few hours, exhausted 'O' sat near his desk. Seeing this Tom and Pot went over and killed 'O'. Tom and Pot, exhausted and hungry, then started eating 'O'-(half-half)! And that's how they became Tom-ate-O and Pot-ate-O!!!
The Wife : ZZZZZZZZzzzz!...(By the time I finished the answer The Wife was fast asleep with a almost joyful look on her face as if to say....am proud of u boy-ur finally getting there!)

Am planning to now write a book 'Innovative ways to answer your wife's "Why's"-Recipe for a happy marriage'!:-)

Solving World Weight Problems..

2006-03-21T18:58:00.000-08:00

I've done it! I have discovered a way to cure World Weight problems! And it's REAAAALLY simble!! (yes....i spelt that intentionally!!)...btw...i hate wrong spellings!...but I digress. We know that the US has obesity/overweight problems. Am sure Indians have one two. And maybe a number of other countries as well. And we also know that countries like Somalia and Sudan have severe malnourishment problems. All we have to do is do a transfer! Simble Transfer!! Transfer of FAT from one person to another! Since the population of 'healthy' people in all the developed and developing countries is significantly higher than the malnourished people, we will have a regular stream of donors! It benefits EVERYBODY! Obese/Healthy people will get fitter! Women will not be able to complain to their husbands how 'large' they have become! Malnourished people will get healthier! The World will be a beautiful, peaceful place to live in!

There you have it! My solution for solving World Weight problems!

p.s. The only problem is who will build the 'Fat-trans-mogrifier'??

Last night...

2006-03-16T22:09:00.000-08:00

I dreamt that I was a cool, drug smuggler with shiny glasses, gold tooth et al, surrounded by cops and I disguise myself as Amitabh Bachchan and escape! lol!

Shocking!!!!

2006-03-13T22:05:00.000-08:00

Somebody PLEEEEEAAAASE tell me this is not true!! And I thought that the US laws were progressive!

Current laws around the US that affect some families:

All parents must work outside the home to financially provide support for their children.
Parents must spend at least 20% of their income on a single child, and if multiple children are present, they are entitled as follows: 17.5% on the first child, 2.5% on the second child, 1.5% on third child and any other children are not entitled to any money being spent on them. If you do not follow these guidelines, and attempt to split 20% of your income among all your children equally, you will be sent to jail.
Any of your children that for any reason do not want to see you, can stay at anyone’s house in order to avoid seeing you and you cannot force the children to see you. You will however continue to send 20% of your income to that child in order to support him through age 18. The police cannot assist you with locating your child. You must pay a private investigator if you do not know their whereabouts.
Whether your job provides health insurance or not, you must pay for a health insurance policy for your first child. Your other children are not entitled to the same, if you cannot afford it.
You may not save for retirement until the % of money per child specified above is given to each child.
Parents must spend 17.5% of their income on the first child, 2.5 percent on the second child.
Any parent that wins the lottery must give 20% to the first born child, the other children are not entitled to benefit from the inheritance except at the discretion of the parent.
If a child wants to participate in any extracurricular activity, a parent must pay for it. If they cannot afford to pay for it, they must either go into debt, sell a car, a house, or anything else in their home, to ensure the child is able to participate in the extracurricular activity.
Any parent that loses their job, must find another job with at least the same pay within two weeks, or risk going to jail. If a job is not found, you will be required to continue to spend XX amount of money on your children and if you cannot afford it, you will either go to jail or have to pay 12% interest on that money until you are able to pay it all back to your children.
If a couple wants to have another child, they must ensure that the standard of living of the first child is not negatively impacted in anyway. The same amount spent on that child prior to the birth of the second child, must continue to be spent on the first child.
Anyone that is taken to court will have to hire a private attorney, except the party that brings suit against you. That party will be provided with free legal counseling paid for by the state.
Parents must pay for college tuition at the institution of choice for all of their children.
A spouse can spend any monies in your account for either herself, your children or a third party and does not have to provide you with any information as to how the money was spent. If you cannot afford the bills, then you will go to jail.
Any person who purchases a home and has an increase in salary, will need to pay the mortgage company an extra 20% of income or risk losing your house and going to jail. If your income decreases to the original amount when you actually purchased the home, you will have to continue paying the increases that were already set prior to the decrease in income or risk losing your house or go to jail.
Any person who loses a job, and therefore, has no income to pay into household expenses will lose their driver’s license and/or go to jail.
Any person who loses a job, and therefore, has no income to pay into household expenses, will forfeit any refunds due by the IRS and/or go to jail.
If a parent loses his job, the first child's standard of living cannot decrease. A parent can decrease the standard of living only of the second and subsequent children, in order to ensure the first child's standard of living does not decrease.
Parents cannot have a change in career at anytime if they have children living in their household, unless the change is for a higher paying position.
If your spouse is hospitalized or ill in any way, the other parent must continue to spend the original 20% of income on the first child, etc. as stated above, before paying any hospital bills or care for the spouse, as it is not your duty to support your spouse, only your choice.

My conclusions!

Parents are basically screwed if they have kids.
They're reaaaaallllly screwed if things don't work out between them!
Parents (especially dads) will basically have to give up their lives if they get sacked from their jobs! (And given the current sentiment of outsourcing everything to emerging countries, this must be seriously affecting them
First child is king. Second and the rest are not going to have the best of lives!
Most employees will not know true Job Satisfaction!

I've been tagged!

2006-03-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

The Wife has tagged me....for my list of my Ideal Partner in 8 simple steps.

Here are the rules!
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. You have to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.

Here is my list...part fantasy...part hope...part fact...

All have been numbered '1'. This is by intention. I don't want all my esteemed readers to feel that these points are in decreasing order of importance...

Sex of the target is Female and preference of 3-4 times a week!

Should Love Sports
I shouldn't have to answer questions like, "But this is football, how can they use their heads for touching the ball?" The next thing would be to use baskets for basketball, or crickets for cricket, or tables for table-tennis!

No Remote obsession
Should not touch the remote! AND not sulk at programmes that I'm watching! As we share responsibilities, the remote is mine. I will take care of this. Without her interference.

My Chauffeur for hot chicks
If i've missed seeing some hot chick, should show and point them to me. Bloody important!

Independence from me

She should have her own set of friends which she should guard from me. She should bitch and share with them stories about me. Bitching about me, TO me, is not in the best interest of anybody!
She should have atleast two interests/hobbies that don't involve me!. She should nurture these throughout her life. This is not out of any beneficial motive for others but a very selfish one. It will be a good to get some alone time! As a corollary, she should have atleast two interests/hobbies that involve me.
She should make all my clothing decisions. Especially for buying new clothes. In fact, she should make ALL the decisions in life. Well...not actually all...she should make ALL the decisions in life THAT I TELL HER TO!

For reasons of kindness, am counting these as three!

Rules for fighting
She should be open to logic and reason. Especially when she's upset! I know this will be one of the most difficult criterion but it's my list...so live with it.

Unconditional 'Louve'
She should louve me. I mean really 'louve' me. Unconditionally. No matter what. Even if I've not bought flowers, even when I've been sacked from my job or anything equivalent. The only situation where this will not hold is when I've been dishonest or disloyal.

So...there you have it....my list of an Ideal Partner in 8 simple steps...well '1' simple step...but just 8 sub-steps...!

My tags are to Reshma, Minita, Jon, Mehul, Amrith and M.

The Wife, as usual, has hogged the limelight and taken all my friends whom I could have tagged. But to spread the message nevertheless, ALL those who read this post, consider yourselves tagged!

The week gone by..

2006-03-03T02:12:00.000-08:00

The Wife is out to get me! She's got a job with the bank and she's just three floors away! She wants to also have lunch together! EVERYDAY!!! I mean, this is office, this is my time! Whatever happened to 'space' in a relationship! But there is a great escape. Where there is a will, there are relatives. But I digress. Thank god to the one who invented 'business lunches.' So what if the lunches are with your colleague whom you have lunch with 3 of the 4 days. Consistency is good, the colleague business lunch is now on all the working days! Ok..maybe lunch once a fortnight is not that big a deal, or is it?

There is a 100km trek between November 10-12. It is called the Oxfam Trailwalker and is organised to raise funds for various charitable causes. I've spoken to a number of people out here who have done this trek and all of them say that it is absolutely amazing. I want to participate in it this year. Team of 4 is needed. But the team has to raise funds for the charity and only then do they get entry. So, if any of you are interested, then please do let me know.
The link for the same is http://www.oxfamtrailwalker.org.hk/eng/home/
p.s There are other things to do in Hong Kong as well!

What does not cease to amuse me here are the hairstyles. I mean you will get all the variety there is to see in the world, in Hong Kong. While asking a fellow colleague, who is local, on the logic of the hairstyles, the reply was an enthusiastic one. "It is soooo coooool! Plus, it makes us look sooo much younger." So, that's what it was? Makes them look younger? The spikes and the colour makes them younger! Aha! I finally had my answer!

Last sunday, we went for a drinks + dinner with some australian and indonesian couple. They had some other australian and english friends who were coming along as well. What was consoling was this.
What are we doing with our lives?
What will we do in our next job?
How do we save enough money?
How do we save enough money AND travel the world?
How do we get rid of our bosses?
Yeah...so it was bloody interesting!

My fitness regime continues. Am running between 16-20 miles (25-32 kms) across four days. Am swimming 1 day. I've been diligently following this the whole of last month. Am confident that will continue this for the next couple of months as well. So the next time you guys see me, would have lost the 20 pounds that I had put on when I last met all of you!

So..? Is this it?

2006-02-23T16:51:00.000-08:00

Is Bird Flu to humans what the meteor was to dinosaurs?

Do you?

2006-02-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

Do you believe in serendipity and that there is no such thing as coincidence?

Shopping for the opposite sex...

2006-02-19T18:08:00.000-08:00

Now, for the uninitiated, Shenzhen is THE cheapest place to go for all types of shopping. All types of stuff you'll get there. Mostly imitations. You'll get Ipops instead of Ipods, Carter instead of Cartier, Samsoite for Samsonite, and a number of more copy items.

So we went there on Saturday. I usually get bored of all types of shopping within 1-2 hours. Which is sooo not a good thing. It is equivalent to spending quality time with The Wife! So dutifully I was tagging along behind carrying the shopping bags when The Wife comes across a dress which she wants to buy. They are available in three colours, light blue, pink and black. The Wife asks which colour I prefer. I usually look the other way, asking her to wear what she likes. But this time I wanted to be the best shopping partner EVER so I replied "The Light Blue looks really nice" There is some bargaining which goes on after my sentence. I notice that she has not agreed or replied to my comment. The shop-owner starts with $150. The Wife laughs on his face! I try to look unperturbed. She says $30! I successfully avoid showing shock on my face! Shop-owner says "Missie, no price missie. Up-price missie" The Wife walks away without replying. I wait on expecting her to come back and finish the negotiation. A long, hard stare makes me realise that I am expected to follow. As we walk away, shop-owner calls out, "Missie, come back missie" So The Wife from 10 feet away says, "Last price $35" Shop-owner says "Missie, little up-price missie. Price no-good." The Wife begins to walk away and realising my cue, I start walking before her. Only to be given a long, hard stare again saying that this negotiation is coming to a close. After a couple of more rounds of bargaining the price is settled at $40. The Wife asks, "Which colour do you like?" I say, "I told you, I prefer the blue" The Wife "Don't you like the black?" Upon which I said that you have sooo many black outfits. The long, hard stare that followed made sure that my views on her wardrobe were then kept to myself.

The next episode was just as we entered a shoe-store. The Wife says "I need shoes for my cream suit. Which shoes should I buy?" I said " Don't you have the black? They will go well with the cream suit" The long, hard stare came back. I managed to come up with some sort of a convoluted story that seemed to pacify her. So in the shoe-store after trying out several pairs of 'cream' shoes, a question followed "Does this look good?" I said, "Yes, it will go very well with your cream suit"

Circa August 2005. We had been advised by our friends here in Hong Kong that it was very expensive to buy or stitch suits here. So it was best if we got our stock from India itself. I asked her "I think I need to get about 6-7 suits stitched. "One a day should be sufficient dear. Why do you want to spend more on suits!" So I agreed. Circa Jan 2006. The Wife has just landed a job. She needs to get her suits stitched. I ask, "So how many suits will you need?" She says that she needs some 7-8 suits. I complain. Explaining in great detail how I had got only 5 suits one for each day, etc, etc. The long, hard stare comes. I stand my ground. The next response from her, "Its different for girls. We can't wear same suits everyday. It just doesn't look nice." I backed down. Without logic a man cannot put forth a strong argument. So we went to a huge shop which had thousands and thousands of cloths. The Wife started looking. I patiently waited two steps behind, ready if she needed my special advice. After 5-6 shops, I was told that I am not helping at all. I need to be a little more involved with the shopping. So I understood from her that she needed cloth that has some lines on it. In a shade of grey. Here are some of the responses that I got, "Too liney", "Won't look good on suit", "Too plain", "I said Grey!", and the simple yet superb "No".

The Week Gone By...

2006-02-17T01:45:00.000-08:00

So we had another of these official dinner parties. This time it was a three-day business conference followed by dinner at the end of the third day. The conference, in its best form, was meant for one-and-all for everybody to participate in the business strategy for the coming years. This year, it transformed into an elitist seniority related session. So, the strategy for the business was explained only to the senior team who helped in framing it. Interesting!! The dinner, nevertheless, was meant for all (not really, it was also meant for a few bands in the hierarchy, and I was included!). Similar dinner to what I had mentioned last time around. Crab meat for starters, prawn cocktail, lemon shorbet, beef steak or salmon fillet, followed by dessert buffet! Not bad at all. Am getting used to this weird food.

Speaking of desserts, (and I am surprised that this hasn't caught on to India), there are dessert dinner buffets all over Hong Kong. Yes, you read it right. Only DESSERTS for dinner! And it is fabulous! Multiple cakes, fruit and chocolate fondue (WoW!!), ice-cream, meringue, you name it! All types of desserts! Totally worth it!

One of my colleagues came into office really pissed off early this week. So I asked him what the problem was. He gave me a huge lecture on how the pollution in the city has increased and its getting really difficult to live here. He was saying that a lot of Chinese factories, because they were shut during Chinese New Year are working overtime these days, and all the pollution is getting transferred here. And because there is no wind, all the "particles" are hanging in the air and he has to breathe them. Not that my hardened lungs from Bombay and Bangalore felt or saw any of these particles, but you get the drift... He was evaluating options of moving out of the company and some other location outside Hong Kong. From my part, i gave him sincere advice to consider Bombay and Bangalore, especially if he doesn't like Hong Kong. I was telling him about the clean, fresh air that is available at all times in these two fabulous cities. How, in every breath, there will be atleast an equivalent of 1 cigarette smoke inhaled, how, when you travel in public transport, you will see freshly squeezed pee and crap juice on railway tracks, how, at the drop of a hat sweet betel nut juice will be passed on to your shirts, how, we can step on dog or cow poo without realising it! Ah! The good old days!
p.s. Colleague has currently postponed all plans to relocate.

India has won the series against Pakistan. Dhoni rules! Yuvraj is the new prince! Dravid seems impeccable! Sachin is hanging in there! Related to cricket, one of the most humourous write-ups on current and ex-cricketers, you guys must visit
http://sidin.blogspot.com/2006/02/sidins-guide-to-greatest-indian.html
Guarantee you will not stop laughing all the way. This guy is VERY funny!

Work is at its peak. Running around three offices. Line of sight says that this will continue for the next two months. My Notes does not deserve more than threesentences dedicated for work. So I will stop here.

Needed the two days of rest over the weekend. But am off to Shenzen for some woman shopping.

My favourites!

2006-02-11T20:34:00.000-08:00

I was hoping that I get tagged by somebody. A number of blog sites have this, you know, top 4 favourites stuff, etc. But I thought that I should do it myself, don't need to get tagged for this! So here goes!

My favourite books! (In no particular order...except first two!)

Atlas Shrugged : Ayn Rand
Fountainhead : Ayn Rand
Shantaram : Gregory David Roberts
Kite Runner : Khaled Hosseini
Love Story : Erich Segal
One Hundred Years of Solitude : G.G. Marquez
The Great Gatsby : Scott Fitzgerald
Story Of Philosophy : Will Durant
Short History of Nearly Everything : Bill Bryson
Grapes of Wrath : John Steinbeck
Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynmann : Richard Feynmann
Of Love and Other Demons : G.G. Marquez

Favourite Songs! (Again..no particular order..)

Blood on Blood : Bon Jovi
Comfortably Numb : Pink Floyd (almost all of floyd numbers in fact!)
Brilliant Disguise : Bruce Springsteen
Man Who Sold the World : David Bowie
Tequila Sunrise : Eagles
Chandni Ratein : Various Artists
Dooba Dooba : Silk Route
Mann Ki Lagan : Rahet Fateh Ali Khan

Favourtie Movies!

LA Confidential
Usual Suspects
Sixth Sense
When Harry Met Sally
Jerry Maguire
Forrest Gump
Cinderalla Man

Suggestions on books and movies are most welcome!

Bali in Pictures!

2006-02-07T02:58:00.000-08:00

Life...and its philosophies!

Farmer posing while harvesting his paddy

Shack for farmers to relax in the hot afternoons

He wasn't posing....he was asking for money!

Paddy....soon to be harvested!

Tree in the middle of paddy

Only Paddy....all the way!

At The Chedi Club....fabulous place!

Wooden bridge during paddy trek

Road in Monkey Forest (called only because few monkeys hang around here!!)

Monkey Forest...Short Trek....The Wife on extreme left

Monkey Forest Short Trek (About 15 minutes!)....totally worth it!

Purple Flower

Called the Legong Dance....tales from the Ramayana and Mahabharata

Did you know....there is a Snake Fruit?

Candle...wrapped in dried banana leaf

The Wife....pensive!

The tattoos!!

C'est la vie...

2006-02-01T18:03:00.000-08:00

- "Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be?"
- "Who I'm gonna be?"
- "Yeah"
- "Aren't, aren't I going to be me?"

Miss myself!

2006-01-23T21:46:00.000-08:00

This post is just a course correction, stop-look-go on my life. Ever since I've found success professionally, I think my philosophies, my approach to life, etc, etc....all have taken a back-seat. In college, I remember that I NEVER got flustered with the marks/percentage/grades that my friends got. It just didn't matter. What mattered was that whether I achieved what I had set out to achieve. I would set decently high goals for myself. I knew that. So setting standards very low also wasn't concerned. What mattered was living upto my own expectations. And my happiness/sorrow would depend on that. I realise now that it is not entirely true now. I am bothered about whether I got the best increment or not. Whether I got promoted faster than anybody else or not. Yes, I know that competition is good and pushes you and all that, but it makes me live life in a relative way. My happiness/sorrow is dependent and therefore relative to somebody else's. I want to go back to my own true self (or atleast that's what I believe I actually am!!) where I view life in an absolute. Not relative to anybody else. I want to live life on standards that I have set for myself. It is not important what others want or what others achieve. They can do exactly what they want. But for me, this is how I choose to live my life.

This approach is my utopia. But in the short-term, I find it difficult to keep this thought at the back of my mind. But I need to and want to.

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

2006-01-19T21:43:00.000-08:00

Ni hau Everybody??

Though traffic sucks in my beloved Bombay, I always believed that it was reasonably disciplined (most of the times, atleast!!). Atleast compared to the other cities, of Delhi, Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Mumbai was certainly on the better side! But Hong Kong is really amazing in this regard. Most of the arterial roads are 3-4 lanes. Further, bus lanes are used only for buses! There is extremely limited lane cutting!! Really cool stuff! Chinese discipline at its absolute best!

The last weekend went off reeaallly slow. We had a dude re-furbish two of our rooms. The room had a look of a deserted jungle earlier. It looks much, much better now and feels better when you go home! As a result, we couldn't venture out of our house. We ended up watching three crappy films and loads of stand-up comedy from the ever-amazing Google Video! Films included 'Ek Ajnabee' starring Amitabh Bachchan, straight flick from the Denzel Washington starrer 'Man on Fire', 'Deewane Hue Pagal' starring the much abused trio of Akshay Kumar, Suniel Shetty and Paresh Rawal. This movie added Shahid Kapur to try and make a difference, needless to say, failing miserably. The third movie, 'Silsilay', surprisingly, glued The Wife (and sometimes me!) to the story. The basic plot of the movie has a cross-section of 3-4 stories running parallely, and none of them are actually inter-related. Somewhat similar to 'Love Actually'. So these were the movies that we wasted our time on. Then there was a ton of stand-up comedy that we saw. Russell Peters stole the show. He's absolutely fabulous. Doing a quick search on Google Video, you guys will be able to see the complete show, FOR FREE!! Google does it again!!

Yesterday (thursday) was a day full of surprising events! We had an Annual Dinner Party for our business and there was a 10-course dinner. Here's the menu....pls don't be shocked

Roast Whole Suckling Pig

Baked Stuff Crab Shell

Duo Shark's Fin with Crabmeat and Bamboo Fungus

Steamed East Spotted Garoupa

Crispy Skin Chicken

Yunnan Ham with Shanghai Cabbage

Steamed Rice with Shrimps, Conpoy and Diced Vegetables

Steamed Pork Dumplings Peking Style

Double-boiled Sweetened Pear with Almonds

Chinese Tea, Petit Fours

.....(and yes...i ate most of it!)

Have decided to invest a little bit (about 2 years) in developing (some sort of) a serious hobby. Actually, the thought is that I will take two years at a time to take a topic and be able to make intelligent conversations about it. So the first step in this journey is take a topic, this time it is photography. Therefore, the investment in a really good camera and that's where the Nikon D50 SLR comes in, which has been invested in! So all of you should see some really crappy photographs going forward.

Bird Flu is around the corner guys. A bird was found dead with the deadly H5N1 strain this morning. This strain is now been found in humans in Turkey, Indonesia, Vietnam, Thailand, China and a few other countries. There is no reason to believe that it will not spread to other parts of the world including North America, other parts of Europe and Africa. All experts are unanimous of the opinion that a pandemic is imminent. The time of this is the only controversy. 50% of all people who do catch it do not survive. No anti-virus available as of date for this strain.
VERY worrying.

Not sure if I will be able to mail next week, since The Wife and I are out for our first anniversary (it also coincides with the Chinese New Year!). So will send some pictures once we return.

Lest I forget 'Kung Hei Fat Choi'!

Till two weeks.

Of Chinese Traditions and Superstitions!

2006-01-13T02:37:00.000-08:00

This week there has been a huge amount of culture acclimatisation. Here are a few traditional Chinese beliefs and cultural nuances that I am learning (incidently have somehow managed to crudely use chopsticks...atleast don't look like an ass which I did when i moved here!)

Chinese tea is served during the entire course of the meal! Its almost as if it is a substitute for water. (I have rarely seen water being served in traditional Chinese restaurants in Hong Kong!)
When somebody pours out a cup of Chinese tea for you, you are supposed to tap the table with your right hand. This indicates that you are thanking the person serving you tea!
The number '8' is considered extremely lucky! You will have tremendous wealth and luck if your stuff has the number '8' in it. For example, the floor that you live in, the phone number that you have, etc, etc. It is the same reason for having the Octopus cards (the same ones which I had mentioned earlier, the pre-paid cards for all the modes of transport across Hong Kong) On the other hand, the number '4' is considered VERY unlucky. The reason being that the letter '4' when spoken sounds like 'death'. And some numbers associated with '4' like '14', '24', etc sound like Death for Sure, and therefore their reluctance to be associated with such a number. Guess it is not only our Indian community which is associated with such superstitions!
Same goes for marriage! Their are Chinese horoscopes as well! Another thing i learnt is that if a guy's proposal goes to a girl, it is only the girl who can refuse!! The guy does not have a choice once the proposal has been made!! Too cool!!

We are having our house re-decorated over this weekend. Changing of wallpaper to make it look somewhat likeable! Just find it very depressing currently. So the weekend shall go in supervising the guy who will come to change this!

Work is getting along well. Boring at times, but hanging in there.

Not too much to update this week.

Till next week

New Year and my determined resolutions!

2006-01-06T02:47:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR to everybody!! Hope you guys have a splendid year ahead!!

The Wife would have completed bearing me for a complete 12 months/365 days/8760 hours/525600 minutes/31536000 seconds in the next 2 weeks!! So baby..thank you...and love you! And to make up for some (not all) of my crap, we're going to Bali for a week. So don't forget to wish us!! ;-))

It's been a splendid two weeks. Roz has been here. And we've had an absolute blast. The Wife and I are a little morose today since he's leaving tomorrow. You will see the snaps shortly, i guess. Once Roz sends them to us!

I usually do not make New Year Resolutions, but here are mine (they are all numbered 1 for a reason!). Bet that most of the people in the world who do make resolutions would be on the similar lines.
1. Get fit! Lose 5 kgs by June 2006 and maintain that till (atleast) the end of the year. (As a step towards this, I hereby renounce all soft drinks and most chocolates!)
1. Read, and read more. Basically, read anything I can get my hands on. Have been doing that, but just want to continue this.
1. Travel.
1. Buy a house. (and therefore save for it!)
1. Reduce the temptation for impulsive purchases (as a step towards Resolution 4!)
1. Do a course in photography. Have the discipline to do it myself. (Have a few metrics defined in my mind to determine success/failure of this) (But to fulfill this, in violation of Point 4, need to buy a digital SLR)
1. pdsvozvukkvkb (this is personal! but its a resolution nevertheless!)

Am determined to keep and maintain all these by the same time next year. Hopefully will not break any of these!

Beginning to really miss India and previous job now. Didn't realise how super Wipro is! In sooo many ways! But this too shall pass....!

Any new resolutions for you guys?

Till next week

Of Crispy Naans and Hair Fairies

2005-12-22T18:13:00.000-08:00

After my delayed Notes of last week, am hoping to be regular now!

In this edition of Notes from Hong Kong, you shall find the new meaning of crispy naan's, the relationship between hair fairies and fashion, an amazing online game, the imminent break from work and much much more.

The Wife and I were at an Indian restaurant a couple of days ago for lunch. For some reason, and have not been able to identify the reason for this, all Indian restaurants are on the first floor! Just cannot understand why. But they are. But i digress. So the Wife and I ordered a Set Meal A. There were three options. Set Meal A, Set Meal B and Set Meal C. 'A' was Chicken curry, 'B' was Chicken curry and Lamb curry, and 'C' was Vegetable curry. Though this is not the important part, as you will see. This was a small room, dingy looking place. After ordering our meals, we observed that there were quite a few locals at the place. This was surprising, but it was a pleasant surprise. During our meal, and because of the dingy place that it was, one cannot but help overhear the stuff which gets ordered from the neighbouring tables. So we found our neighbours painfully talking to the waiter and trying to explain what they want. They pointed at the naan and said we want the same thing but the crispy version. I guess the waiter (who was Indian by the way) just wanted to clarify what actually they wanted. After a little bit of probing, guess what they settled on? Gas? Gas? Arre...gas na? They wanted papads!

Hong Kong is a very fashion conscious place. In one of the districts, you will see all the top designers of the world, Armani, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, etc, etc...i mean all of them. The way most, young Hong Kong residents dress you would call fashionable. You may choose to disagree with that kind of fashion, but that's a different matter. Now, a lot of guys (and a few girls) do something to their hair every morning. Because they come in all shapes and sizes. The hair i mean. The hair on top of their heads, just to clarify and make my point clear, for those who misunderstood! ;-))) You know how we get up in the morning (and I am very prone to this) we have all our hair ruffled as if the Hair Fairy has visited us? Obviously this does not apply to the one amongst you who does not have much of this precious commodity anymore, but the rest of you would appreciate what i am saying. To the one who does not have this commodity, maybe you could reminiscence about the long gone, glory days where you could have identified with this much more. But wait, i digress once again. Coming to the point, hat's how a lot of guys walk around here! They have their hair set in a manner, all crumpled and raised from a couple of sides et al. This is what fashion's all about!! Cool, Damn Cool, i say!

Work has just been getting a little slack because of the festive season. Hardly anybody in office, boss not around, emails are not being replied to, etc. So Rohit sent across this amazing online game, which was devised by a few students of IIM-I for their annual college festival and was an instant hit. The game is like a cryptic quiz game and has multiple levels. In order to get to the next level you have to solve the question in a particular level. So if you guys are bored at work and want to pretend that you are giving a lot of thought and very busy, this is the perfect game for you. Mind you, it is very addictive. At times, (atleast for me) I got into an ego battle trying to solve it! I have just a couple of levels to go, but Rohit has finished all the levels. There is a discussion forum as well, which gives some clues in case you do get stuck, would advise you to use it only if you have not given it a long, hard thought. You are allowed to use Google. Have fun.
http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS

And the holidays are here! As you guys now know, from next year onwards I don't have to work saturdays! And we got a mail from one of our super bosses that you need to come to work only if you have work on saturdays! Tis being the festive season et al! So cool! So the weekends are a pleasure. Christmas is on a Sunday, so we get Monday (26th) as a holiday. But 26th is Boxing Day na?? So, 27th is also a holiday!! 31st is Saturday, which is anyway a holiday now! 1st is a Sunday, so 2nd (Jan, Monday) is a holiday too! So if we take 28-29-30 as holidays you can get a whopping 10 days vacation, which is what yours truly has done. So the next couple of weeks, should be good fun.

Weather is coooooolllllld!! Brr....really cold!! And windy! Nights get extremely painful. But the excitement of staying like this is good.

Till next week (err....maybe till two weeks!...there goes my resolve of being regular!)

Looking for Gold??

2005-12-19T17:04:00.000-08:00

Apologies for not having mailed last week, but was just really tied up with some work. I have had a very tiring, but eventful week. Let me share with you guys some of the amazing lessons to have learnt.

The Wife received an ATM card. When she went to use it, all the screens were in Chinese. So we said that maybe the card was programmed erroneously. But I thought that maybe we entered the card wrong in the slot, we didn't see all the options, etc. So I asked a colleague to go with me to the ATM machine. After about 6 screens in Chinese, there was an option to switch to English language. Moral of the story? Learn Chinese to swap ATM card to English!!

I had a small discussion with a business head last Thursday. I had discussed the presentation with the person who was going to make it last week to finalise it. Yesterday, I thought that we could better it by doing something more. I had some hajaar complaints and flaired tempers! Now I know that last minute changes (but it was more like last day changes!!!) pressurised her!! She couldn't work properly then! Received quite a rude shock on it! But it was an important learning from the acclimatisation stand-point!!

And to some funny sights for The Wife and I. These relate to digging noses. Now we have been able to identify four main types of diggers out here. The first are the open diggers. They dig, irrespective of others seeing them, they just look at the gold and dispose it off in the air. You may do well by steering clear of them when such an event occurs. The second type are the passive ones. They dig, but are on the lookout for the aam junta watching. And the moment they meet somebody's stare, they will stop doing their duties and pretend nothing ever happened. Then there are the variety who dig their nose just like somebody cleans their teeth using a toothpick. You know, cover their mouth with tissue, dig their nose, then put the boogers on their tissue and nicely roll it back in their purse!!! The fourth variety were the most amusing to say the least. This specimen was seen by The Wife and self on a romantic evening. The specimen is usually a child, not more than 10-12 years of age. The child then proceeds to hunt for gold, and on finding the precious commodity, dutifully gives it to his dad for safekeeping. The dad, continuing to talk, with his missus, takes the recently acquired gold, makes nice balls out of it, and disposes it off!

The other funny episode of the week was related to our property agent who helped with our house search. We want to get the wall papers re-done. The current version is just very sad. I guess, he can't say 'T' very well, so the pronounciation ends up at ekaaaa, eaaaaa, eeeeeaaaaa or something like a martial arts person hitting the shit out of another person! Anyways, so The Wife decided to explain her name to our friend. This is the simulation of the conversation:
The Wife : Hey, my name is E-K-T-A
Agent : Eeeekkkaa?
The Wife : Noooo, E-K-T-A. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tiger
Agent : Aaaah! 'D' Haaayaa....haaaya......Eeeekkkdddda!
The Wife : Nooo, Nooo....'T', 'T' for Tiger
Agent : Aah! Haaya! Ekta!
The Wife : (Obviously happy) Yes, E-K-T-A
After 1 day
(phone rings)
The Wife : Hello?
Agent : E.T?

No jokes!! The Wife is now called E.T!!!

So long for last week.

'Tis the Season to be Merry!

2005-12-02T02:14:00.000-08:00

Just got the hottest news, after five years of intense lobbying (i obviously was not involved in any of this!), the company has decided to give Saturdays as holidays!!! Feels really nice and back to the weekend days!! Wow! The general consensus in office was that this wouldn't go through. So we have weekends off starting the new year!! Yippee!!

Our first trek happened last saturday. It was a hike to a place called the Tai Tam Reservior. This is the second largest reservior of Hong Kong and made entirely manually. A beautiful place. We were used to much more 'natural' treks in Bangalore. Here the treks are all paved with stones and has directions et al! We were quite shocked at it. We had to go up and down two hills. When we were on top of one of the hills, the sight was breathtaking. One one side of the hill there was the Hong Kong city with its high rises and smog and the 'material, corporate world', while on the other side, rows of mountains, beautiful lake, and greenery. I was thinking on which life would one choose if we had to make a decision one way or the other. Couldn't do it.

Grilled Honey Chicken with Garlic Bread and Mustard and Lime Potatoes. Toblerone Milk Shake as Dessert. That's what The Wife got treated to. I thought I would go back on my cooking skills. It turned out to be a hit item. Was pleasantly surprised to figure that it turned out to be fantabulous! So when you guys visit, Your Royal Highness(es) will be treated to the same. So another incentive to come here soon!

And needless to say, phirangi land, has its wonderful Christmas celebrations! Yes, already! Beginning of December and you will find Santa Claus around the city entertaining kids, giving chocolates and gifts. Its wonderful! The Wife bought two reindeers. Not live ones silly. Stuffed Reindeers. Small size. We need to consider these parameters in the pigeon-holes of Hong Kong. A huge debate raged on naming them. Finally we settled on Santa and Banta. The names are direct descendents of the friendly neighbourhood Santa Claus! So here's a poem in their honour!

Santa/Banta, the reindeer,
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you ever saw it,
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeer,
Used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Santa/Banta,
Play in any reindeer games!
Then one foggy Christmas eve,
Claus came to say,
Santa/Banta with your nose so bright
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
Then all the reindeer loved him
And they shouted out with glee
"Santa/Banta the red-nosed reindeer
You'll become very horny!"

My two cents humour! Obviously it is wasted!

Childhood memories

2005-11-24T16:22:00.000-08:00

I don't remember exactly why I started doing this. But for the last couple of weeks i have been writing down, my oldest childhood memories. Here are a few snapshots of them:

I remember having fights with my brother. On one instance, i remember having thrown my favourite chappal on him, only to realise that he had ducked and ironically, the chappal went out of the door, through our gallery and on top of our BEST buses. I saw it turn around the corner, and though i ran down, the bus was long gone! On another instance, in Ahmedabad, for our summer vacation, i remember having a fist fight with him, i remember that it was about 11:25, I also remember that he was hitting the crap out of me. And he then pinned me down. One of our helpers, saw us fight, told us to stop and went to wash the clothes. When she came back at 12:30 i was still in the same pinned down position!
I remember crying a lot everytime I was going back to boarding school.
I was in St. Xaviers school in bombay, in the third or fourth standard, so it should be 1985 or 1986, I was lured to eating the small balls of candy floss outside the school. Now, the problem was that the vendor had a small game of roulette, and if you hit Zero (which for some reason you always would!!), you would lose the money, and more importantly no candy-floss. If you hit a particular number you would get candy-floss as well as your money back!! I remember having resisted for a few weeks, but then, i guess, temptation and greed got in the way. Dad used to give us money travel money from school and back by BEST buses. On one day, i decided to try my luck. Needless to say, i lost everything. no money and no candy-floss! Usually, i would be home by about 3:30 in the afternoon. This day, i wasn't. I was merrily walking back from school, a good 9-10 kilometre walk. I reached home just as my brother was reaching home (he was senior, so he had a couple of extra classes) and I remember him run upto me and carry my bag for me! I remember that I was quite surprised at his gesture because not a day would go by without us fighting, and i mean physically fighting, without each other. Words like hate were not learned during those days, but if i did, i was pretty certain that thats how he felt about me.
Not that I was wrong! A couple of months after I was born, not getting the attention that he was used to, he tried to hit me with an iron rod!!
In 1985, I remember having got caught stealing some pennies (literally, pennies, some foreign change was in the house) and not getting punished for it! I would have been happy getting beaten but I didn't. And i learned a very big lesson that day.
I remember watching Chitra Haar and Chayageet in the evenings at my neighbours house in their newly acquired colour tv!
I remember the day, something in August 1992. I told a girl in school that I used to like her. I remember those words distinctly, "I LIKED you." Needless to say, the next raksha bandhan a rakhi was tied to me!
We used to have the weekend off after i shifted schools from boarding. This was in 1992-93. I used to play a lot of table-tennis. I enrolled in a class where a coach would help hone my skills. Everytime I would ask this coach to play with me she would refuse. I realised later that it was because i used to whoop her ass while playing!
This happened sometime in Feb 1993. In the same class, we had a girl who was just learning to play. We had practice on saturday. So i had my round of playing, remember not having lost a single game that day, and i went home at about 12 noon. Nothing significant happened to my recollection. Monday morning, when I go to school, i realise that i'm being given very slimy stares by some girls and crazy smirks by guys. I was told that on Saturday, (because Valentine's Day was approaching!) i had proposed to this girl, and given her a valentine card, she had started crying and she had slapped me!
I remember my grandmom making bournvita for me every evening when I would come back from school.
I remember my grandmom telling me (and she did this only once in her life!) that i should be careful with a girl whom I got closed to in school. I remember that i was in love (or something like that ) with this girl in school and we used to study together every afternoon in 1993, just before the board exams. Her mom would come at 6 in the evening and i would leave at 5:55! We lived very close to each other. Just a lane apart, but she was at one end of a lane and i was at the other of the second lane. So i would take the route which we knew her mom didn't take. She realised what was happening, and one day caught me going home from her place! The good part is that I dont know how i reacted!
I remember my aunt buying us some gift or the other by taking us to, Amarsons at Breach Candy, everytime she would come from Ahmedabad. It was some of the most sought-out days in my life.
In 1984, when i was in 1C at St. Xaviers, I remember that I failed in my maths exams by getting 5+1/2 marks out of 20. Needless to say, parents took me apart. I also remember in 3C in 1985-86, I had an english exam on a Thursday. I totally forgot about it and lent my English notebook to a guy called Abhijit after class because he needed to complete his notes. That evening, the whole house was put apart looking for the book that I had lent my friend. I had conveniently forgotten about it. Didn't score much in that exam, I'm sure. But if i am not mistaken, that's the first time I started cheating in exams.
I remember playing cricket in a small ground opposite our chawl. When my brother refused to let another guy take the bat, i remember us running for our lives, because the other guy was running behind my brother with a stump in his hand! We got saved by a family friend and owned a woman's accessory shop just below our building.
I remember, with a childhood friend, we had shut all doors and windows and lit a small fire in the house. We obviously hadn't been educated in physics. We didnt realise that smoke can go through very small crevices and openings. We were in big trouble when the entire chawl found out.
I remember having made small houses for myself everytime I had fights with my brother. I would call my dad in office and ask him if he can get me my own name tag. I asked him because Raj Babbar had asked his father in a movie that i had then recently seen.
My brother and I were put in boarding school in 1987. My brother was not at all happy with the move. He would cry endlessly for days. I remember, I used to cry seeing him cry. The irony of it is that he finished his tenth standard from the boarding, it was I who switched earlier!
In 1994, I remember the day when my best friend called me and asked me why his 'boiled egg' had burst. He had boiled it without water.

If i look at these memories, most of them have my brother in them. Haven't told him explicitly ever. M, I know you will get this post. Thank you for everything. Thank you for our fights. I wouldn't be half as tough as I am (or atleast I think I am!) if it weren't for you. I am sorry for all the times I screwed you over and took you for granted. I am thankful that I have you as my brother and friend. I love you (but i love mahek much more!). May the joyous times last forever!

Chicken Feet for the Soul

2005-11-17T00:48:00.000-08:00

On other topics, I was at a local restaurant for lunch recently. Guess what i found there? Gas? Gas? Arre Gas na? Have you guys ever had Chicken Feet soup? Well, i realised that it is freely available in Hong Kong. No doubt it looked disgusting, but if the chicken has not gone through a manicure and/or pedicure, something may get stuck in your teeth, would you pull it out and say, 'Hey, here's a nail?' Yech!

The Wife and I are on our way to becoming locals. In fact we're half-way there. Here's why. Our shipment from India, containing our spices and foodstuffs was infected with bugs. Now The Wife and I had two choices, we could leave them in the food itself and eat the bugs with our food thereby becoming locals (which was my recommendation!) While in Rome, do what the Romans do! That's my philosophy! Needless to say, it was categorically thrown out of the window and The Wife dutifully sieved and heated it to get rid of them. However, if we removed the bugs, and the bugs have eaten the spices and we are eating the spices and locals eat bugs, that makes us locals right?

The Wife has been dutifully providing delectable food. Delectable from the sandwiches i ate EVERYDAY for lunch in Malaysia, delectable from all the 'papad-chapatis' and delectable from ALL the chicken feet soup! The very flavour of Indian spices makes my mouth water these days! The Wife has also been decorating the house. Though nowhere close to the Bangalore house, we are trying to make the best of what is available and hopefully by the time you guys come here, we will have a nice pigeon-hole to share.

On a parallel note, Self is still struggling to find feet at work. Work has its ups and downs. Things began to go downhill when I was setting up my books in our new home. An additional four (from the previous count of two) Calvin and Hobbes went missing. I have also (either lent) or more likely misplaced three books on Alexander as well. Life feels a little disappointing during these times. But.........this too shall pass!

On a more positive note, guys, please stop reading any book that you are reading or about to read. You have to, and absolutely have to get your hands on The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. I am surprised that the book has not won the pulitzer or the booker. Maybe not worth the Booker award, but surely if Jhumpa Lahiri could win a Pulitzer for Interpreter of Maladies, Khaled Hossieni deserves it for this one. So please, please get your hands on this book. I assure you that you will not put it down.

And on this note, as Steve Jobs would say, Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Till next week.

More Notes from Malaysia!

2005-11-09T23:31:00.000-08:00

This will be the last edition of the Notes from Malaysia as The Wife and I go back to Chinky land tomorrow. She leaves in the morning and me in the evening.

I'm not sure if i mentioned this in one of the Notes earlier, but we went to the Petronas Twin Towers on one of the weekends. They're gorgeous! An absolute super-structure to have built and a privelege to see. They have about 84 floors but the top 10-20 floors haven't yet been occupied because they are exorbitantly expensive. The towers have a connecting bridge where tourists are allowed to go and we had an amazing view of Kuala Lumpur. Because of the height of these towers, the wind has a significant impact on them. The towers can sway upto 1.5m on days when there is high wind! 1.5m!! That's huge!!

The other significant trip was to Genting Highlands. This is a small place made up of five casino hotels and one entertainment park ala Esselworld. So The Wife was fully excited. The French and Indian colleague were dutifully draggged and the four of us had an absolute blast! All thrilling and entertaining rides were made use of and it gave us a good adrenaline rush. The last two hours of the day were spent going to Casino de Genting where yours truly (for the first time in my life, may i add) i actually won. In Rupee equivalent terms, on an investment of Rs. 400/- yours truly took a return of Rs. 3000/-. The Wife was very happy but believes that she's got rotten luck and therefore it was my luck that got the money.

Let me once again simulate inane conversations with locals out here
Self: (Accompanied by 3 friends, to waiter at restaurant inhabited by TWO other courageous patrons. Restaurant seats about 100) We need a table please.
Silence.
And More Silence.
Local Waiter: How many people?
Self: (In my mind) There is nobody around but the four of us! Do you see dead people walking around, not in your dreams but all the time ala Cole (The Sixth Sense for the uninitiated) ?
Self: (To waiter) For four please.
Local Waiter: For dinner?
Self: (In my mind) It is 8:00 in the evening. What are we here for...lunch?
Self: (To waiter) Yes, for dinner.
After the food arrives:
Self: Can I please have a sliced onion please?
Silence.
And More Silence.
Self: Hi, I need some sliced onions please.
Waiter: Not on menu Sir. We cannot serve onions.
Self: ?? (Puzzled) You have onions in everything. And i'm certain you have onions in your kitchen.
Waiter: Sorry sir. It is not on our menu. We cannot serve onions.
Self: (Getting egoistical) I will pay for it. Charge me MYR 2 (About Rs. 25/-) But I want to have an onion.
Waiter: No sir. Sorry. Sliced onions are not on the menu. I will not be able to serve them to you.

At the drive back to the hotel:
My Indian colleague and I were teaching our French colleague some Indian abuses. The ass-word in Hindi starting with 'G' and ending with 'aand'. So the French colleague got excited and started bellowing the word in his frenchie accent. The driver, startled, looked to him and said no sir, I am not Chinese, I am Malay! Chinkies are called 'G' with 'aand's out here!!! It's hilarious!
Things, psychologically, are so slow out here that even doors are slow! Most of you guys would have gone through doors that have sensors right? You show your identity cards, usually in your breast (pocket) and once you show your breast to the sensor, it gets all excited and lets you in! Now the time interval between the showing of the card and the release of the door is almost instantanteous, but not in Malaysia! You have to show the card, wait for about 5 seconds and only then will the door open!!

The Wife went berserk yesterday shopping. She has bought masks that can cover the entire 2.5 rooms that we have in Hong Kong. But they are beautiful masks, made of wood. So the nightmare of setting up of house all over again will start harrowing us from this weekend onwards.

You guys take care and please keep mailing!

Adios Amigos!

Crappy Advertisements and Bustling Malls

2005-11-03T17:36:00.000-08:00

And the Malaysian chronicles continue....

The crappy advertisements out here are hilarious! One ad read, RM3300 for a three-seater sofa. That's nearly Rs. 40K. Guess what comes free with this? Gas? Gas? Arre...Gas na? One frying pan!! Can you believe it? One frying pan free!! I guess anything free will do for these guys out here.

Another advertisement read 'Vacancy Wanted'!

And the mall epidemic across the world continues. I know that India is flourishing with malls, so is Hong Kong and Singapore and Malaysia is too. Am certain the US and Europe are brimming with the same. What is it with malls and our obsession to visit them? Just don't understand it.
We were out in a mall as a colleague wanted to buy some chocolates. The rate was RM 6.5 for 100 gms. So we asked for 1/2 kilo. And there was silence. And then there was more silence. Then finally the sales lady said you cannot get 1/2 kilo. So we asked Why Not? And then there was silence. And then there was more silence. Then we asked if we can buy 500gms. The answer was Yes. You can buy 500gms but not 1/2 kilo!

Let me illustrate a small conversation between self and a local
Self: Hi, do you know how do i get a taxi?
Local: (Silence)
Self: You know, taxi? Drive? KL?
Local: (More Silence) (After 1 minute) Aaah taxi aaa. One momo please!
Self: (In my mind) No...i don't want to eat momo's out here, but i need a taxi
Self: Where can i find a rest room?
Local: (Silence)
Self: You know, rest room? loo? Pee-Pee?
Local: (More Silence) (After 1 minute) Aaah Tandas aaa. One momo please!
Self: Tandas? (That's what it's called out here!!) Yes, can you tell me how to get there?
Local: (Silence)
Self: Get there? Road?
Local: (More Silence)
Self: Can you pls tell me the way there?
Local: Can
Self: Sorry?
Local: Can
Self: (Realising that the local is saying he CAN tell me, is expecting me to now ask him for directions again!!)
Local: Teri Ma Kasi!
Self: (Angry) Teri Ma Kasi too!

Don't get any ideas, we were not fighting it was just a way of saying 'Thank you'.

So the above conversation is only meant to highlight the slowness of conversations here. And self is still trying to figure out whether it is cultural issues or whether it is capability issues.
On a different note, a French colleague does not understand French beards. So the next time you guys think of saying that you'll grow a French beard, trust me that you will have a black eye because the frenchies don't like it AT ALL!

Last week's notes can be re-read because life is fast, hectic and laborious.

More from Malaysia next week.

Notes from Malaysia!

2005-10-27T01:58:00.000-07:00

So the weekend went off really fast with The Wife getting the packers to un-pack all the stuff on Friday. Though we haven't actually moved in, we had to get all our stuff arranged in some form.
Saturday and sunday we were just running around from the service apartment to the house moving all the luggage which we did not want to carry to Malaysia. I left in the evening at 330 while The Wife came left about three hours later. So yours truly had to go back to the airport to dutifully pick her up. I have made a small poem on the Malaysian experience in the last couple of days. And all of you have to sing it in the the Sound of Music - My Favourite Things format.

Raindrops at six and whiskers on women,
Bright sunshine and non-water potty in the den,
Middle of nowhere is where we are staying!
These are a few of the Malaysian things!

Exercising in the morning and limited tv,
Cheap stuff and crappy ads and nothing to see
Working two shifts with brown paper sandwiches tied up with strings,
There are a few of my Malaysian things!

So that was my small poem from malaysia! Hope that you sang it in the Sound of Music format. Else it does not count!

Life is really stretched out here. Am working about 12-14 hours everyday, and I still am not sure if I will be able to finish all that I set out to achieve when I came here.

The Wife and I are going to watch the sunrise tomorrow morning. Being in the middle of nowhere has its limited advantages.

Work hollers, got to go!

Till next week!

Adios Amigos!

Scenes from a Hat!

2005-10-23T22:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry for this delay of a day to send the Notes across. I'm sure all of you were missing it! After my sly comment in the last Notes, I am glad to mention that EVERYBODY replied and it felt good. Thank you guys! You're the best!

One of the most hilarious sights that i have seen in my recent past is of an Aussie teenager in a bus. The Wife and yours truly alongwith a couple of friends were going to a particular market, and this dude had his ears pierced. And guess what the now-created-hole was holding up? The same way as guys have studs and girls have earrings, this rocker had a full cigarette in each ear! Not joking guys!! A Cigarette!! But this wasn't all. He also had purple nail polish and the most weird jeans and shoes ever seen by mankind!

There is this other thing. I mean it's a little weird but we Indians are very used to utilising a great deal of water in the mornings for you-know-what. Now, in phirangi land, this gets very difficult, especially if you're staying in a hotel, where there is no provision for the same. Needless to say there are no buckets as well. Initially, my policy was to do what the Romans do in Rome, or simply what the Hong Kong Chinese do in Hong Kong, but my resolve was temperory. I could not last long. So The Wife and self are made to use a glass for dispensing of all daily rituals and extra-curricular activities.

My company is a traditional banking company, i guess. You only need to have a look at this department during lunch time! Roughly between 1230-200. Virtually nobody's there. From the 40-50 people who are there, not more than 3-4 will you see on the floor. God knows where people disappear during this time. The other bit is that most people are trying to cover their butts. So EVERYBODY gets called for a meeting, a conference call or gets marked on a mail. This is applicable to most people barring a few. It is quite surprising you know. I would have thought that things would be a little progressive here, but unfortunately it isn't. I don't know if this is for my company specifically or for all companies.

And, 90% of all women wear more than 2" heels! Wonder how they manage to hold themselves up for so long! I mean aren't they painful after a point of time?

From mundane activities to boring monologues, Thursday and Friday have been rather boring days. Work is also a little sluggish and I pretend to look busy most of the times. Have an odd meeting here and there but nothing which keeps me occupied throughout the day. Every now and then, i turn to Notes to Hong Kong and update small things which i notice or happen. That's why they're so long!! However, I would expect that the next month would be a little busy with the travelling et al.

And here are the meanings of last week's words
onomatopoetic: The formation or use of words such as buzz or murmur that imitate the sounds associated with the objects or actions they refer to
ululate: to wail
cupolaed: architecture related, design of a vaulted roof or ceiling.

On Friday, i was to be present at two meetings at the same time, which i obviously didn't realise till I missed one of the meetings! And needless to say, boss didn't seem very happy about it and dutifully explained the use of the software package that we have and how I should use it! I thought that I was young enough and would remember the meetings that i'm supposed to be part of. Obviously I was wrong. So self has made strong resolve to look before I commit for any meeting. It will serve two purposes. The most obvious is that I will not screw up like the last time. Also, I believe it will make me look a little busy as well. Checking if I have the time et al. Let's see how it goes!

So, while I was missing one meeting I was attending another (albeit a little more important!) I was explaining to a senior executive how important her support was for a project which I was part of and to show her committment we needed a meeting with her once a fortnight. Now I was the only non-Chinese in the room, and the vibes I got after that sentence weren't very comfortable. Can you guys guess why? Gas? Gas? Arre Gas na? It was because nobody understood the word "fortnight"!! As you guys would know, I meant once in two weeks. And on sensing this, yours truly clarified the situation. Now, what is this word "fortnight"? And why should the word convey 'two weeks'? So i did a little bit of background research (as you would have guessed from the length of this mail and the fact that I am researching such a topic, I don't have much work!) And this is what I found. Also, in the process found an excellent website. All of you should check it out www.word-detective.com

"Fortnight," which means a period of fourteen days, is a contraction of the Old English phrase "feowertiene niht," which meant "fourteen nights." (The ancient Germanic peoples from whom we lifted the phrase measured time in nights, not days.) A related term, "sennight," means a period of seven days (from the Old English for seven nights, "seofon niht"), but is very rarely heard today.

"Fortnight" itself is pretty rare in the U.S., although it is still in common use in Britain. The entire British way of speaking about the immediate future, by the way, often confuses American visitors. While in the U.S. you might say "I'll pay you two weeks from Tuesday," in Britain they would say "I'll pay you Tuesday fortnight," or "Tuesday week" if they were going to pay a week sooner.

I left for Vancouver on Sunday afternoon at 1630 hours and guess when I reached there? Same day at 1330 hrs!! Damn cool na! I got half sunday extra-holiday! Vancouver was beautiful. Yellow, Green and Orange coloured maple trees. Weather like you're living in air-conditioning! And the most amazing of all, the people are wonderful! They're so warm and friendly that you will be surprisd! The conference was just another regular one. Nothing special to mention on that! I returned this morning and The Wife and I travel to Malaysia for three weeks on Sunday.

So, till next week! Loads of love to all of you!

Mundane Monologues!

2005-10-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

I would think that nobody would have read my last week's edition of Notes from Hong Kong because there was a sly comment for all of you, and the fact that nobody had a retort tells me that my chronicles have already become a Shift+Delete value. Sigh! Thought it would be atleast 4-5 editions before that happened. But my resolve is strong and i shall bore you till i can with my weekly column.

The last two days of the training on Thursday and Friday last week went off really well. We had some extremely positive feedback (which made me feel a little good). We has a team dinner and we went bowling (where your's truly scored a high of 145 in only 8 turns. Could not take the next two because there was a competition which was to follow :-( ). Anyways, after bowling the whole group of about 25 people went to a Chinese restaurant. Now, the Chinese food that we eat in India is actually not Chinese! Ask me, i've been here for a whole month now! So there are no forks and knives on the table! There is a set of chopsticks and everybody around the table, including some of the phirangis, seem extremely comfortable with it. So i asked the waitress for a fork and a knife, and she looked at me as if i committed a sacrilege! Nevertheless, when the food arrived, there was hardly anything that i coule eat. Chinese surpass all our Indian imaginations! There was some dish related to pigeons. Some related to Chicken (Thank god for Chicken!). Something gooey looking like a duck. Something hard looking like pig intestines. But i go too far. Let me leave it at that. It was food which i couldn't digest properly, so i conveniently called The Wife and asked her if there was Maggi which i could eat at home and yep, life saving maggi was available! But while at the dinner i did give the chopsticks a try. And to my utter amazement, was able to manage to hold a few morsels of food, albeit with a lot of trouble, from the serving plate to my dinner plate.

Friday evening, went out with a couple. Sangeetha and Karthik. Sangeetha and i joined Wipro together and have been good friends. We went to one of the most happening places in Hong Kong called, Lan Kwai Fong, and for the uninitiated like me, LKF. This place is one of the pub and disc locales of HK. There are about 4-5 streets filled with only pubs and discs. The best part is that there is no entry fee (but for a few elitist places). So you go in, grab a couple of beers and walk out (don't get your eyes out, you do have to pay!) And then you hop to another pub doing the same thing. So pub-hopping here is really cool and fast!

Have been reading Jhumpa Lahiri's The Namesake and have found three very new words. The first is 'onomatopoetic', the second is 'ululate' and the third is 'cupolaed'. Now, before we go and get our hands on a dictionary to figure out what they mean, i want to ask all of you to make your guess on what these could mean. Let's see how close (or far) we make our estimates. For onomatopoetic, my guess is rhyming. And for ululate, my guess is gossiping especially amongst women. Cupolaed will be something related to architecture for me. Don't ask me why i'm saying this. It's just my guess, trying to make a context with what i read!

Sunday, we got up late and we went to a friend's place for lunch. Had some amazing Chole and Paratha and some Pulao. Almost Indian! Felt like home! And watched 'No Entry' starring Salman, Anil Kapoor and Fardeen Khan. And to my utter surprise, found it hilarious. Especially then end. If you haven't watched it, it's totally recommended. Leave your brains home and have a blast.

Monday, was running around for my Canada and Malaysia visa. There was a mistake on my Canada visa, so had to get that rectified. And had to go personally for the Malaysian visa. However, by the time I got to the Consulate, the visa counter had shut and therefore had to go back on Tuesday. The Wife is going to come with me to Malaysia. And we plan to have some good time (whenever available!) there. So Malaysia here we come!

Monday was also some auspicious day and The Wife reckons that it would have been a good day to move to our apartment. But our shipment from India will be taking a couple of weeks more and I had to ask my HR and my boss for an extension of stay, albeit with a little bit of pushing. So will be in a Service Apartment for the next two weeks.

Tuesday, we went to this Big Buddha statue almost 100ft tall on a place called Lantau Island. There was also a 'Path to Wisdom' which has 12-15 timber wood blocks that are very high and have some engravings on them. These also have some inscriptions and are collectively called 'Heart Sutra'. Supposed to give you tranquility, peace, etc. The highlight of the evening was that Lantau Island has tons of trekking trails which got us quite excited. Once we return from the 5-week sojourn we will be hiking this up!

Have also started running in the morning. So get up quite early. By 0530. But its good. Need to get back to some sort of shape. Well i know Round is a shape, but that's not my idea of getting into shape!

Till next week!

Weekly Chronicles!

2005-10-07T02:05:00.000-07:00

One of the things which i've noticed here is that people say a lot of 'please' and 'thank you'. Just helping somebody with a small problem or answering some of the questions that they have asked, they would say 'thank you'. Meetings are quite often inconsequential. But to their due credit are very punctual. They will start and finish on time.

I have never seen so many foreign cars. There are all types of them. From lowly Suzuki's to Subaru's. And from Jaguar's to Rolls Royces'. Mercs are by the dozen so are beamers. I've just read a statistic that Hong Kong is on the Guiness Book of World Records for having the highest number of Rolls Royce in one city! We also spotted a couple of Ferrari's.

Also, you feel dwarfed in the city. The buildings are huge. Not horizontally but vertically. Lifts are fast. Buildings would go upto 40-45 floors.

On Thursday, i was assigned to a project in Malaysia. I have to be there for about 3 weeks just after I come back from Van Couver. So wife was reasonably pissed off. So i asked her to come along. Not sure if she will come but i'm pushing it as a second honeymoon. So let's hope for the best.

One of the big headaches of the last couple of weeks included finalisation of the house, which has been completed. It's a small 2.5 BHK (its true, they call it a half-bedroom!!) apartment in a place called South Horizons in a district called Ap Lei Chau. We will move in on the October 10.

The weekend was great. Found this mallu place and it was great eating Chicken Curry and Malabar Paratha. Best time of the month! Absolutely loved it!

We've made friends with this couple Nick and Aday. Nick's from Australia and Aday from Indonesia. On Sunday, all of us went to this Stanley Market. It was a wonderful bus trip across the island near the beach. Really gorgeous! This Stanley Market is like the Fashion Street/Linking Road/Heera Panna combined into one. Very cheap, but good shopping! Not that we bought anything, but the next time we return to India, we know where you guys are getting your gifts from!!

This whole week, i'm teaching a bunch of 21 people what Six Sigma is!! So today was good. But last two days were VERY frustrating.

I don't know if this movement is good or bad. But right now, doesn't feel very good. Need you guys here! Missing you guys loads!

Till next week!

Stuffed-animals kill three!

2005-09-29T23:07:00.000-07:00

The wife and a couple of family friends and relatives are hiking near a forest near the hills of Rishikesh (in India). There is a beautiful stream flowing past and scenic mountains that can be seen. There are green trees in the forest but has a dark-red, maroon trees interspersed in the green ones as well. The trees appear to be pine trees from below, but as you go towards the top they take the shape of animals, just like the Hanging Gardens of Mumbai. As the hike continues, a garfield-like animal, almost human-size is found on its back not so far away. This creature appears to be stuffed, just like any stuffed toy we find in an Archies or Hallmark gallery. One of The wife's childhood friends happily goes and tries to cuddle this enormous creature. The creature, suddenly, comes to life and devours The wife's friend! The wife then tells her mother to run as fast as she can. On encountering some resistance, The wife convinces her mother that she can run faster than her and she will be able to catch up with her, and therefore, it is best for her to run first. On observing their environment once again, The wife notices that they are surrounded with these 'stuffed-animals'. Realising the danger, The wife, alongwith two other friends make a dash for it. They suddenly find themselves in The wife's childhood colony running up her building being chased by another one of the 'stuffed-animals'. This one looks like a wild boar with big tusks. Just as they reach the terrace, they shut the door behind, accidently leaving one of the friends on the other side. Before they could do anything, The wife sees the boar damage the head of the friend with blood splattered all over. The wife is horrified at the site of the friend being decimated. They observe The wife's brother and another friend from the terrace next to another 'stuffed-animal'. The go running downstairs and scream from their vantage position, the brother moves a bit away but the friend, unfortunately, meets the same fate as the others. The wife and the brother now run to their house and bolt the door.

This was The wife's interesting, but horror-filled dream last night that she dutifully narrated this morning to me. (Incidently, every evening The Oprah Winfrew Show and The Bold and The Beautiful are also dutifully explained to me.) I have an urgent need to interpret this dream, so if any soul comes across this blog and has the inclination towards interpreting dreams, your help will be much appreciated!

Notes from Hong Kong

2005-09-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

This is my third week in Hong Kong and i thought i should start a weekly chronicle called 'Notes From Hong Kong' to you. Just to keep you abreast with the mundane activities that i do here. You can treat this as one of the regular 'shift+delete' items in your mailbox. Or just read it whenever you have the time!

Life in Hong Kong is fast. And i suspect it is much faster than it is in Bombay or Bangalore. Am saying this purely because the last three weeks have gone by faster than i think they would have in either of the two places. It is a highly efficient set-up out here. Everything works. The government is a super-efficient business. Every citizen needs a prisoner-type identification card. So we have to go to this office by registering on the net or on the phone. You will not need to wait in lines anywhere. And you will be out of that place within 30 minutes. But this HK ID gets all your other work done as well. You need a cell connection. Pop your HK ID. You need broadband connection. Pop this one up again. You need to rent a flat. HK ID is a must. You want a travel pass (called the Octopus card). Show your HK ID. So its a very important and highly useful document.

The travel here is also government-owned and supremely efficient. There are multiple ways to commute. The first is the Mass Transit Railways. There are about five lines, much similar to our Western, Central and Harbour Lines. Only that they call it the Island Line, Tsuen Wan Line, Tung Chung Line and the Airport Express. There are a few smaller lines but you get the picture. Travellers are charges similar to the charges in Bombay rails. Then there are buses. Now, unlike the Bombay buses which charge differently for different stops, buses in Hong Kong have a fixed charge between the start point to the end point even if you get off in between!! There are ferries. Tariffs for ferries is a fixed charge from one point to the other. And then there are taxies. Except for the taxies citizens have to use what they call an Octopus Card. This is a pre-paid card. But (full credit to the Hong Kong government again!!) the beauty of this is that the same card can be used for all forms of transport (except taxies). So you don't keep running from one line to the other and dont have to wait for the conductor to give you a ticket. There are no conductors in the trains/buses/ferries. Only drivers. Most males will have their Octopus card in their shirt pockets. So they show their breasts to a machine, which gets all excited when it sees it, and deducts her rate, to give the customer his travel pleasure. Women do this through their purses obviously.

Weather was not very difficult to get used to because it is very similar to that of Bombay. However, there are a number of typhoons (just a fancy term for our local bombaiya rains)
So what have we been upto the last three weeks?

There is just one main activity that we have been doing. Look for houses. And this is an epic in itself. It is a nightmare looking for houses. I think Bangalore spoils you. Apartments here are like pigeon-holes. For a two-bedroom apartment, the second bedroom, without exaggeration, is 6'x6'. You cannot squeeze a single-bed in that room!! And speaking of beds, the Chinese have a displaced sense of what they would call a double-bed. Unless you specify the size of the bed, their idea of a double-bed is 4'x6'. I have measured this, so no point arguing! Accommodation is expensive and so is everything else. The first week i could barely by a loaf of bread because my Indian brain multiplied everything by Rs. 5.5. So a loaf of bread which costs HK $10 would appear Rs. 55/-. So the first week passed in a rather frugal manner. So i thought that it would not work out for me living in this manner. So i converted everything to 'bucks'. So a loaf of bread is 10 bucks. Vegetables are 15 bucks. Pringles is 10 bucks. Snickers is 8 bucks. It worked out fine after that.

Work is......curious. I am still unable to make up my mind whether this formal suit culture is good or not. Because it fosters formality. It also (atleast apparently) makes you think twice before you say anything. Which most often is a good thing atleast it seems to be working for me. My work is beginning to pick up. It is a rather sensitive place. So one needs to tread carefully. That is the basic advice most people have been giving me. And this is quite different from my Wipro days where you basically scream at whomever you want if you thought you were right.

Dear wife cooks food everyday. Watches loads of tv. And updates me on The Bold and The Beautiful dutifully everytime i come home from office. She has a good schedule for the day for herself. Get up at 0630 when my alarm rings. Get out of bed at 0730. Help me with breakfast. 0800 Go back to sleep when i leave. 1030 Have an hour long bubble bath. 1130 Watch TV. 1300 Have lunch. 1330 Go to sleep again for 2 hours. Laze for a further half hour. 1600 Prepare dinner. Spend 2.5 hours doing this. 1830 Start sulking that i'm not home. Thats basic routine till i get home. Then we do dinner and live happily ever after.

So this update was for the last three weeks and henceforth (assuming i'm regular!!) will be weekly and will mostly relate to office fun and how i'm adjusting to the overall life in Hong Kong.

So long!

Joyous Times!!

2005-02-16T01:02:00.000-08:00

Today is one of the super, full joy days......blogging has helped me....thanks to Rema teachers daughter who has helped me get her email id!!....thanks a ton...

Now....for updates in life....for those few who still happen to chance by my blog....i got finally married hook, line and sinker 15 days ago.....it was a fun ceremony.....our pandit was an exact replica of the late but notorious long moustache dacoit.....and i couldn't help grinning during the entire time of the ceremony....it was full of pranks as well...was pulling Ekta's leg during the rituals when i got a severe spanking saying that this is 'supposed-to-be-serious' stuff....and i tried to be a little better after that...

the next two days also breezed through meeting relatives...going for lunches...marriage registration....etc...etc.....and then came the amazing honeymoon....

We went to Mauritius.....stayed on the West Coast....which i believe was a mistake....and bigger mistake was staying in this hotel called Gold Beach Resorts....crappiest place you'll be....though the rooms were good....service was atrocious....and worse still....there are no water activities that they have....because "(they) are a very new property".....so??...i mean that had to be one of the dumbest excuses one could hear....anyways.....we arranged for all the stuff that we wanted to do...snorkelling.....scuba diving...etc...in the neighbouring hotel....Pearle Beach...which is a good place to be...

We got regular calls from both our folks....and every second sentence from them had the words "enjoy yourselves"....which i'm not sure means what when one is on his/her honeymoon...could this be parents trying to say that we could now officially have sex??....haven't been able to figure that one out yet....

Back in Bangalore now...and setting up the house...its very nice...doing small things together like planning the layout of the rooms....beds...cabinets...paintings....artifacts...etc...etc...very romantic and very sweet....

Thanks to all the guys who were with us during the marriage....meant a lot to both of us for you'll to have come...

Cheers...

Of Marriages and Girlfriends....

2004-11-08T13:16:00.000-08:00

Thousand apologies to all who did read my blog once upon a time....life's been really hectic with tons of travel with obscene shopping...The last six months have also been a tremendous learning experience on managing girlfriends and handling marriages....some of the learnings are as follows:

Quit arguing. It'll never work. Women are ALWAYS right.
Reconcile. Reconcile that your life will be spent sans ogling, letching or salivating towards any other woman. (greatest pain i tell you)
New parents. Yes....this was a shocker....but its absolutely true. You'll get new parents whom you will need to call mom and dad....which will take a lot of will-power and fortitude.....not necessarily a bad thing though...
New Rules. And you thought that your parents were tough!!!!....You thought that you were governed by your own rules....lived life on your own terms....Wait till you get into a long-term relationship....and if you thought that you will be able to negotiate.....pls re-read Point 1 once again...
Shopping. WORSE thing to get used to. Guys usually buy the first thing that they like. What i mean is that if we're buying jeans...we guys will buy the first one which we really like.....its the other extreme with women....(not correct to generalise...but that's the experience with my sample)....they want to see ALL the shops in ALL the cities in ALL the countries.....and then decide which is the best....yeah...yeah...i know this is exaggerated....but you get the picture..
Forget logic. Especially during fights. But given sufficient time and on-the-job training you will get used to this. If any of you have read 1984 by George Orwell you know what i'm talking about.
Use Caveats extensively. e.g. No part of this blog is meant for any person living or dead. Any such coincidence is purely coincidental and unintentional. Also, the author will not be held responsible for any unsuccessful attempts at implementation of these learnings.

Needless to say....for all those who do stumble upon my blog pls feel free to add if i've missed out on anything....here's wishing a happy married life to all!!

Old School Teacher...

2004-06-16T01:47:00.000-07:00

All of us have our favourite teachers....And i had mine too..She was my English teacher....Rema Rajagopalan....who taught me English Prose and Poetry....and for all you cynics out there....no...this isn't inspired by Tuesdays with Morrie....i've been trying to get in touch with her for the last 5-6 years....i believe she's currently living somewhere in Singapore....I had written a letter to her....a couple of months back...sometime in Dec last year...hoping that she would read it....but it never reached her....damned email was wrong...should she or any of her relatives, friends, foes, anybody who knows or knew her, EVER, through whatever stroke of luck reads my blog...please do let me know....

Dear Rema teacher,

I'm not sure if you remember me....but i was one of your students who passed out in 1993...was one of the eight student's who didn't flunk your first Julius Caesar exam!!

I have been wanting to get in touch with you for the last 4-5 years....but just haven't made the effort to go to school to hope to get your mail id....finally Radhika Rege....we were together in school.....told me of our school website where i got your mail....was really happy that i finally did....

madam....never got an opportunity to tell you...but it was a privilege learning under you....my interest in reading books, though not much in my initial school and college years....has developed over the years...and i do read quite a bit these days...and chances are quite high that if you hadn't taught me as well as you did...i wouldn't have ever ventured into reading at all....my company....Wipro is in involved in a school initiative where we train teachers and schools to change their paradigm so that student's are better equipped to question things rather than just learn by rote....and invariably i put you as an ideal teacher and what kind of teaching you brought to class...etc..etc...when we design our programs for this inititative....so once again madam...thank you very much...

i still remember...you had come into class very angry....and we were asking you why you were so....you said that you and your husband had gone to some friend's place....who had a dog named Caesar!!!!!....thought it was really funny then....but the passion which you brought to the classroom was unbeliveable....also remember you scolding Alini Tendulkar for taking down each and every thing that you spoke!!...there was a joke in class that time that even if you sneezed Alini would write it down!!!....wonder how she's doing though!!!

As for my life....I passed out in 1993 from school...got through NM college in bombay.....always wanted to do Hotel Management...so got through Catering College in Dadar, Bombay.....but realised that i couldn't make a career out of it....fortunately i hadn't left my Commerce graduation....went on to do my MBA.....and got picked up with Wipro in 2000 where i've been working since...was in bombay for the first one and a half years...and then for the last 2 years i've been in bangalore...

i'm in touch with Radhika....Kartik Dalal....Premal Desai....and to a certain extent Neha Parekh....radhika, premal and neha all are married....just got the news that Neha delivered twins!!!....

i'm just going on and on with my mail....wont bore you anymore....i would really like if you could write back....a friend of mine and i were planning to make a trip to singapore/malaysia sometime this year...and if possible i would want to meet you when i'm in there in singapore....please do write back if you have the time....

Warm regards,
Anand

Nothing and more

2004-06-02T04:25:00.000-07:00

Today i didn't have much work...so thought i'd clear my mailbox....the last 2-3 years i've been reading a lot....and everytime i like some quote or smart-alec comment...i've written it down....so this morning.....while clearing my mail...(that's where i used to store these one-liners) and chanced upon these....here are some of the best...that i've read...in no particular order...

"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dryrot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time"
Jack London

"When the facts change, I change my mind, What do you do Sir?"
John Maynard Keynes

I remember my youth….the feeling that I could last forever, outlast the sea, the earth, and all men.
Joseph Conrad

Life is what happens when you are making other plans
Anonymous

Disbelief is more resistant than faith because it is sustained by the senses.
Of Love and Other Demons : G.G. Marquez

The evil that is in the world always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding.
The Plague - Albert Camus

Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope
Almost any exhibition of complete self-sufficiency draws a stunned tribute from me
There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired
The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald

The physicist Leo Szilard once announced to his friend Hans Bethe that he was thinking of keeping a diary: 'I don't intend to publish. I am merely going to record the facts for the information of God. 'Don't u think God knows the facts? ' Bethe asked. 'Yes', said Szilard. 'He knows the facts, but He does not know this version of the facts.'
A Short History of Nearly Everything: Bill Bryson

Don't Wanna Grow Up!!!

2004-05-31T02:20:00.000-07:00

Been meaning to blog for some time now...but just haven't got down doing it for 5 specific reasons
1. Work!
2. Work!!
3. Work!!!
4. Work!!!!
5. Work!!!!!

I just don't want to grow up!! I've been working some 4-odd years now....and recently shifted to a new assigment...in this new job i already feel all old and a veteran!!....so today i renounce being an adult and go back being a kid...so as to do the following
1. Eat chocolates even though i'm unwell (Hint!!Hint!!)
2. Play pranks in office and not get pulled-up for it
3. Go to office, sit, listen to crap and come back as if nothing happened without having to take actions on the 'actionables'
4. Read a project report as it were a fairy-tale and not try to figure out motives and intentions behind each and every paragraph!!
5. Get up at 2 in the morning and ask for water and be taken to the loo
6. Laugh loudly...as if there were no tomorrow
7. Play games till i'm dead tired
8. Play some more...
9. Watch cartoons of Tom and Jerry for a FULL 24 hours
10. Fight with my best friend and then make him a Sorry card!!
11. Have stuff ready-made...food, money, play, EVERYTHING...why do i have to work for everything...it's like saying i don't deserve it!!!

For all those who do read my blog...please feel free to add in anything which comes to your mind on this....would love to do those as well...am just trying to find things to do so that work gets avoided!!

Nidhi...GET WELL SOON...now my blog mentions you too..hope that makes u feel better!!

My Conversation with God

2004-05-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

Me : Why are some people assholes of the first order?
God : Hahaha....honey...i know whom you're referring to....but those people may think the same of you!!....plus you must put everything in context....people react differently based on the circumstances they believe themselves to be in.....they're protecting their interests and you're protecting yours....i have given each and every one of you the greatest ability of all....to think....unfortunately not everybody uses this ability to the fullest....so you have your differences...i'll bother only if you can't handle it....

Me : When i ask You to help some ass, why do You listen to me?
Me :And...When i ask You to help me, why do You ignore me?
God : Sometimes the answer is just 'No'. You have to live with that.

Me :Why do You leave me when i'm in pain?
God : I don't leave you....i'm the one who's carrying you through....

Me : Why are You such a hands-off manager?
God : No two people are the same.....i need to be hands on with some..hands off towards others....as far as you're concerned....i know that you can manage without me....so i let you be....call me when you really can't handle something....and i will always be there....

Me : Do You have control on your algorithm? Can I will it?
God : I have control, but only in special circumstances. I can't answer the second question....you'll need to figure it for yourself...

Me : How do i know whether a decision i'm making is the right one or not?
God : All decisions that you need to make....will have multiple options....my algorithm has the capability to generate the numbers based on the decision that you're taking...and circumstances will shape up accordingly.....if you learn to live with what is available to you rather than what you want to be available to you....the decision will become irrelevant.....

Me : How do You know that You're making the right decision?
God : Hey....it's Me...i created you and this world...and the algorithm which takes care of day-to-day operations...!!..You're questioning ME??
Me : Oops...sorry...
God : no issue...chill...

Me : Why is everything so confusing?
God : It seems confusing since you believe that the choice that you make will change the course of your life.....it may not...further....even if you think that it will.....you need to understand that leaving your current life and exploring new ones will just make you better....and enrich yourself....

Me : Why am I here?
God : Because i chose for you to be there....it's my way or the highway....take it or leave it....and it's a package deal....you don't get to pick and choose...sorry...but that's the way i work....

Me : Why is everything in life so transient?
God : Life is the longest thing you'll ever know dude!!!...Do you know anything which is longer than life???

Me : How do i know that You love me?
God : I'm talking to you right now, ain't I?...Do you know anybody else whom i've spoken to?...That should speak volumes..

Me : Can You give me just one teeny-weeny miniscule little glimse of my future?
God : Even i don't know, my friend. The algorithm would generate your number and future course of action....unless in exceptional circumstances i cannot change or modify its output...

Me : Why do I always get the feeling that there is something better just around the corner, but the corner never comes up?
God : Because...in life...there is no corner....it's just one meandering road....just enjoy the road...sometimes it'll bring you back to the same spot...but you've travelled in the meantime...hopefully learnt...and as you go ahead...you'll make some different choices....and see where that life takes you....

Me : I don't like to bribe You with gifts and money, some other people do, how do You feel about it?
God : Your way of showing affection is different from some of the others....i like the way we talk and the way we share a lot of stuff....some other friends of mine show their affection by giving me food which i absolutely loooouuve....you need to respect this difference....

Me: Any parting words of wisdom?
God: Enjoy yourself in whatever you do....i've put you there not to sulk....but to take life in every breath, in every cup of tea...and not to worry, i'm there to take care of you in case you do fall.....you're the best!!

Of Bosses and other Demons

2004-05-22T04:25:00.000-07:00

Am sure that Gabriel Garcia Marquez wouldn't want me to get any inspiration from his much-acclaimed novel...but sorry one-of-the-best-authors-that-ever-exists....that's what came to my mind...and it fits perfectly...

my boss is out to ruin my life!!.....the other day he insisted that i go to another office even though there was nobody there!!!....he calls me every time he's got a crisis to handle and once he's poured his heart out on what is bothering him....he'll be after my life!!!....i mean...dude...by just talking about your issues...doesn't mean that they get transferred to me!!....but no..our royal highness will insist on doing so..and what's more....like clockwork he'll call every 30 mins to get a "status update"....what's that supposed to mean anyways..."status update"....i'm still middle-class...half hour won't change that....would it??

shit...he hollas once again..got to go...

Surprise!

2004-05-14T04:54:00.000-07:00

Was not sure about what to blog about and then decided that blogging is really about writing significant bits about nothing in particular (for me anyway). And given that the owner of this blog is Anand and to some extent me (now that I have left my mark on it by posting this blog - somewhat on the lines of how dogs mark their territory by umm.. peeing), I have decided to do exactly that - post about not much in general. After reading this, you will quite readily agree about the likeness between marking territory by peeing vs. writing bucket-loads of crap as displayed here.

Surprisingly, as the title suggests, this post has nothing to do with a surprise. I suppose thats a surprise in itself (?). Its been a crazy day and it does not look like its going to end anytime soon. If anything, it looks like the day mightstretch into tomorrow. Yet again, I am going to complain about how my job sucks (how refreshingly surprising, eh?). Just the realisation strikes that complaints about jobs are on the top 5 most-boring-things-to-read-about, I decide to change topics.

On to boyfriends trip to Europe. The man is being taken by his parents on a "family vacation" all over England, Scotland and Italy. For most middle class families this is a dream they might have to take significant loans to fulfil. If not that, they would at elast have to give up eating for a full 15 years (not in a row silly... how would theys urvive that?) And yet, he insists he is middle class. And what does that make my family that could barely afford to send me to Sarojini Nagar every year to buy me clothes in the summer?? Very close to the poverty line I think...

And on that random note, I shall bid thee adieu.

Duracell battery and Dinner....

2004-05-12T21:47:00.000-07:00

When i was twenty-five...(that's about a year ago)....i thought that the next ten years of my life would be a promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men (and women) that i'd know, a thinning briefcase of enthusiasm and thinning hair....most of the promises are beginning to come true save the first...coz a dumb girl was nice enough to say yes to me....but i digress....

Today's blog absolutely has to be dedicated to two things...one..my dear colleague who is with me....and second...our dinner with our clients last night!!...this was one of the getting-to-know-the-client-better dinners...you know...where you talk about nothing...listen to nothing...see nothing special...etc..etc...but you still have to be there..

one theory i've had for a long time is that if i wanted an asshole to speak...i would have farted!!!...but no...my dear colleague has to do the honours...and he has to go on and on and on and on...for heaven's sake...he's worse thant the best duracell battery i've EVER used...and folks...i'm being nice too him!!..he's been on since we came here monday night....oh my god...he believes he's an expert on ALL the topics in the world...from the recruitment policies that our client should have to the way his garden should be manicured...and from the way our company should work to the reason why the to-be-formed-government-at-the-centre will be unstable because of mayawati!!

the second part...the dinner was in Daman about 20kms from the hotel where we stay...nice, decent drive...needless to say duracell was playing non-stop...he was like the never-ending-background-jhankar-beats in some shady song....anyways..we reached the place...and all this while i was wondering why we were driving all this just for dinner??...should have guessed that these 'dinners' are just ostensibly for food...but actually for the favourite pastime of all and sundry out here....consuming illicit alcohol...only difference being that these 20 kms don't make it illicit anymore since we've moved from Gujarat to a Union Territory...now for the uninitiated...all these dinner-meetings have just 2-3 topics...as did this one...the topics were...bitching about work...about marriage (this part was dedicated to me!!)...as my initial promise held up..i was the only single man...work-bitching is pretty normal...just the general cribs..less pay...more work...more pressure...usual stuff...then after downing a couple of pegs...since i was the quiet guy..the topic shifted to me...and due to absolutely no fault of mine...was given a few 'truths' about marriage...first 5 years is good...then both parties switch off...both absolve each other of all responsibilities...and life has come full circle...voila...you're a bachelor once again...

now...i don't know why...this used to happen during my drinking days too..(i incidently quit 6 months ago, i got bored of it!!)...al lstakeholders of alcohol miraculously start believing that they're the best singers in the world...now...i really like some hind songs...you know those melodious songs of jagjit singh...kagaz ki kashti...Haider Ali's Purani Jeans...pretty neat numbers...now imagine these reaaaally nice songs by the worse singer EVER...Altaf Raja!!!!...and what do you get...my farted-colleague bellowing away these numbers!!...gosh..it stinks!!

But as all good and bad things come to an end...so did this...and today is my day for doing some work...which should take the whole day...there should be some peace and quiet atleast for today!!

Duh..!!!

2004-05-11T22:46:00.000-07:00

"Blogging" was a term which was very recently introduced to me....i thought that it was something mis-spelt 'log', 'clog' or something of that sort which i pretty much didn't understand....but after much clarification got to to know that it was actually a weB LOG!!!.....pretty neat acronym..i must say....and just like that...thought i'd give it my two cents worth....

These days i've been travelling a lot....both for personal and professional reasons...current leg of the tour is work-related..i'm currently on a consulting assignment some god-forsaken place in Gujarat where the only form of entertainment oscillates from getting CTs (Cheap-thrills for short) consuming smuggled alcohol and watching "Tamhare mate" on a regional gujarati channel...it's gujju for "For You"....haven't got the opportunity to view the much-talked about program...but by the talks of it...is some extra-marital affair program sympathising with the guy!! (not meant to be chauvinistic or anything of the sort...but i guess the director would have thought that all sympathetic precedence has been with women...from Savvi to the latest Murder...and would have wanted to make his difference!!!)

My colleague and I, on this assignment so passionately talk about process improvements, transforming business, improving productivity, etc..etc...words seemingly falling on the ears of people who're like children just seen space and don't know whether they will enjoy this journey or be lost!!

Everytime i think that i'm going to have an unsurmountable problem...(which is my thought at this point of time)...i go back to my basic philosophy...it says "Remember Miami Beach"...it goes like this...If you condense whatever you know of the Universe to the size of Miami beach (the supposed longest beach in the world)...them the Earth would be guess how big???...guess...guess....just one grain of sand!!!....think how big you are in this scheme of things...and how big your problems are!!....Insignificant...isn't it?